Page 70 of Secrets in the Snow

‘How did you two find this place?’ Cain asked me earlier over breakfast. ‘It’s heavenly.’

‘Mum and Aidan stuck a pin in a map,’ piped up Ben, to which everyone laughed, including Cain’s two young daughters who have been a great source of company and entertainment for Ben since they arrived. ‘Mum did that before and we ended up in Ballybray, but I think she cheated a bit this time, didn’t you, Mum?’

I held my hands up in surrender.

‘Well, maybe I cheated just a little bit!’ I confessed, as Aidan kissed me on the cheek on his way past to bring some fresh tea to our guests. ‘We decided it would be best for Ben to stay in the local area, but couldn’t believe our luck when this little gem right on the mouth of the ocean was ready and available to move in to straight away.’

The cute little two-storey thatched cottage sits on a hilltop. There’s a stained-glass circular window above the front door that caught my heart as soon as I set eyes on it. The four bedrooms are spacious and generous for all our needs, and the little shed out the back will serve me well for my crafting.

I open the patio doors that lead out onto a little deck that overlooks the blustery Atlantic Ocean and I breathe in the fresh sea air and take stock of how a long personal battle has taken me to this wonderful place in my journey of life.

Mabel taught me so much during our friendship, but most of all she reminded me how it’s important to take chances sometimes, and that it’s OK to take risks because none of us knows when our days in this world will be over. There’s nothing worse than living a life of regret, never knowing if we made the right call when it comes to love, life and happiness.

Now, when I close my eyes and hear the sounds of the sea and the boys’ laughter in the distance, I feel cosy and warm in my heart knowing I’m being true to myself and to those I love.

Cain’s wife Ruby and their two daughters Megan andIsabel tiptoe down the sand dune below our kitchen window and make their way to join the rest of our family to make new memories of this wonderful new beginning that lies ahead of us all.

I recall our conversation this morning when, just after we exchanged Christmas gifts, Aidan told me how he felt being here with me and Ben, back on the coast of Donegal so close to where he spent such a beautiful childhood with his family.

‘I feel complete and true to myself at last, Roisin,’ he said, holding me close to his chest in our bed that has a view out to the Atlantic Ocean. ‘The pain is gone and I can see that yours is gone too. All this time, the answer to the void that was within me was right here at home beside Mabel. I’m so glad I found you.’

I glanced down at the engagement ring that sparkles every day on my finger, a promise to a future together, and snuggled closer to his warmth in our king-size bed.

‘And I’m so glad I found you too, Aidan,’ I whispered, looking forward to a beautiful Christmas celebration like I’ve never experienced before. ‘I feel safe in this moment. I feel safe and secure, like I haven’t been in a long, long time.’

I once promised myself when I was just fourteen years old as I sat alone in my bedroom in my foster home to always look for this feeling in life as the sea crashed outside. I once promised myself that I’d get to feel like that at least one more time, even if it took me for ever to find it.

And just like my darling friend Mabel Murphy advised me to so many times, I’m going to welcome love into my life and embrace it. I’m going to hold on tightly to my precious family from this day forward, and I’m never, ever going to let this feeling go.