Page 104 of Regretting Youu

“You’re in for a rude awakening if you think you’re gonna show up on set in a good mood every day.”

I exhale. “I hate it when you’re right.”

He laughs and kisses the side of my head. “You must really hate me, then.”

I shake my head gently. “Not even a little bit.”

It’s quiet again. Across the lake, there’s a man with two little boys. He’s teaching them how to fish. I watch him, wondering if he’s cheating on their mom.

Then I feel the anger return because now I feel like I’m going to be looking for the worst in people for the rest of my life.

I don’t want to talk about Aunt Jenny or my dad, or Mom and Jonah, but the words pour out of me anyway.

“The way Jonah talked today . . . he really did sound remorseful. Like maybe their kiss was an accident or a onetime thing. I want to ask her about it, but I’m scared she’ll be honest and tell me it’s way more than that. I kind of think it is because I know they went to a hotel not even a week after the accident.”

“How do you know that?”

“The app. Why else would they have been there if they weren’t already involved?”

“Either way, you need to talk to her about it. There’s really no way around it.”

“I know.” I blow out a rush of air. “You know, it doesn’t surprise me that Jonah would do something like that. He only moved back here and started dating Jenny because he got her pregnant. Not because they were madly in love. But my mother . . . her and Dad have been together since high school. It’s like she had absolutely no respect for my father.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she and Jonah are just grieving.”

“That didn’t look like grief to me.”

“Maybe finding solace in each other helps with the grief.”

I don’t even want to think about that. It’s a weird way to grieve. “Well. Me skipping school helps with my grief. So thank you.”

“Anytime. Well, anytime except last period. I have a test, so I need to get back soon.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“You doing anything for your birthday tonight?”

I shrug. “It’s always been tradition to do family birthday dinners. But I guess that’s out. We barely have a family left.”

Miller’s arms tighten around me. It makes me miss my father’s hugs. Even Jonah’s hug today made me miss him. “Well, if your mom will let you, I’ll take you out.”

“I highly doubt she’s going to let me leave, and I might be too tired to fight her on it.”

“It makes me sad to think you might spend your birthday alone in your room.”

“Yeah, well. It’s just another day.”

I wonder what my father would think about seeing me so sad on my birthday. He’d probably be disappointed we aren’t continuing the family birthday dinner. I bet Aunt Jenny would be disappointed about it too. We’ve never missed one for as far back as I can remember.

It makes me wonder why I automatically assumed the tradition would stop with their deaths. They wouldn’t want it to stop.

Even though my mother seems to have lost her respect for the tradition, that doesn’t necessarily mean the tradition shouldn’t continue. At least this way, I could see Miller tonight.

I sit up and look at him. “You know what? I do want a birthday dinner tonight. And I want you to come.”

He raises a cautious eyebrow. “I don’t know. Your mom didn’t seem like she’d ever welcome me back into your house.”

“I’ll talk to her when I get home. If she has an issue with it, I’ll call you.”

“You don’t have a phone.”

“I’ll call you from our home phone.”

“People still have those?”

I laugh. “She’s only thirty-four, but she’s an ancient thirty-four-year-old.”

I lean back against him, thinking about my birthday. It really isn’t fair if she tries to ground me. If she does, I might throw the Langford in her face. I let a slow roll of air pass through my lungs. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. The idea that the two of them were having a hotel tryst just a week after the accident makes me want revenge.

I try not to think about it. I turn around and straddle Miller, and then I kiss him for several minutes. It’s a good distraction, but he eventually has to drive us back to the school.

I wait out the final class period in my car before going home, which is probably a bad idea, because the entire time I sit in my car, I think about all the ways I can fight for the vengeance my dad and Jenny deserve.

I head home, even angrier than when I left for school this morning.