Page 49

But I can wait. He’s already given me so much in a short amount of time.

I check to make sure the gift bag containing his mother’s present is nearby. It was odd, picking gifts for other people, but it made me excited. There’s still some nervousness about opening myself up to others. But I’m excited, too, at the thought of having a family again.

The plane touches down. A private car whisks us away to his mother’s home, a stunning Victorian just down the road from one of the wineries. As we drive up, I smile. It’s like a gingerbread house come to life, complete with lavender shingles, crown molding on the wraparound that reminds me of icing on a cake and colorful stained glass in the front door.

“You bought this for her.”

Michail nods. “The one luxury she would allow herself in those early years was a magazine that featured Victorian homes. She’d page through and point out the details she liked.” He nods toward the turret on the far end of the house. “When this came on the market, it was like it had been made for her.”

I reach over and squeeze his arm. Sarah comes out as the car pulls up, smiling from ear to ear.

“You’re back!”

It feels natural to walk up, to accept her hug. I hug her back before she turns to Michail.

“Hi, Mom.”

Sarah wraps her arms around her son. He returns her hug with an exuberant one of his own. I step back and look away. There are still moments, moments like these when I’m reminded of my own mother, when the loss hits anew.

But it’s getting better. Day by day. Michail’s and my deepening relationship is helping with that.

A chill touches the back of my neck, fleeting but potent. I glance around, but there’s no wind, no sign of an impending storm. No, this chill comes from within.

I frown. It’s only been a week. I know this level of bliss won’t be permanent. Even my mother and I, for how strong our relationship was, still disagreed, even fought. At some point, something will come up. Yet as Michail takes my hand in his and guides me into the house, I can’t help but shake the feeling that something else is coming. Something that will not only test our newfound happiness, but possibly rip us apart.

I push that thought aside. This is just me trying to mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario. Something I have done ever since I can remember. If I expect the worst, I can’t be surprised. But I missed out on so much living my life that way. I want to stop that, not just for myself but for my child, too.

I sit down in Sarah’s living room, taking in the mix of old-fashioned furniture like a low-lying pale blue sofa and a clawfoot coffee table. Paintings adorn the walls, stunning watercolors of the Hudson River, the nearby mountains, a farmhouse amid the bold colors of fall. On an end table next to an antique lamp is a copy of the photo I saw in Michail’s apartment, him standing next to his mother with his arm about her shoulders and the sea behind them.

“You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you.” She taps out a nervous pattern on her thigh. “I did want to offer after you’ve had the baby and settled back in to come out and stay for a couple of weeks. Help out around the house, cook, clean.”

Touched, I smile at her. “That sounds amazing. Although I hope you’ll be holding the baby, too.”

“Of course.” Sadness crosses her face. “When I had Michail, I didn’t have much. There was a family who lived next door, and sometimes the daughter would come over to clean or bring me something her mother baked. It meant the world to me.”

Michail tenses next to me. But when I glance at him, his face is smooth.

“We’d love to have you, Mom.”

“Good.” She leans forward. “So how was your trip?”

We make small talk for a few minutes, telling her about the various shops and restaurants we visited, the villa we stayed in. Her eyes grow misty when I tell her about returning to the bar where we met.

“It sounds wonderful. I’m so glad that you can make new memories there.”

Michail reaches over and grabs her hand. “We have something for you.”

Sarah cocks her head to one side. “You didn’t have to get me a gift.”

Michail almost looks like an excited young boy as he stands. “I’ll be right back.”

He disappears out the door.

“I’m so glad your trip to Greece was a happy one,” Sarah says.

“Me, too. I wasn’t sure it would be given what happened the last time we were there.”