Page 60 of Billion-Dollar Baby Shock

Tara couldn’t help saying, ‘So give him a family.’

‘Not this again, Tara.’

She tried not to be dissuaded.‘We already have a son.We could have more children…maybe not right away…but in a few years…’

Dion was shaking his head.‘But why would you…?You’re already sacrificing so much…’

‘It’s not a sacrifice when you love someone.’

Her words hung in the air for a long moment, Dion staring at her.Then he said, ‘You don’t love me.You can’t.It’spity…or your overdeveloped sense of responsibility.You love Niko so much you’d sacrifice your ultimate freedom to give him what he needs.’

‘This isn’t about what he needs.Well, I mean, of course it is…but it’s my needs too.Selfishly,Ineed you.I love you, Dion, and I would like to create a life with you and Niko.’

* * *

What Tara was saying simply didn’t make sense.‘But how can you?I’m not…lovable.’

Tara walked over to him and stood in front of him, looking up.Dion felt as if he were falling.‘Yes,’ she said, ‘you are.Eminently lovable.No matter what happened to you.’

All Dion felt, though, was shame.He turned away from Tara’s gaze.She was searing all the way through to where there was something so deeply bad inside him that it had caused his mother to abandon him and his father to reject him.It had made him acquire a child so that he might feel love.

She put a hand on his arm and turned him back to face her.He’d never felt so exposed.Vulnerable.Undone.

‘Maybe take it from me, then, because I was lucky enough to know what it felt like to be loved.’She lifted a hand and touched his jaw.‘And I can tell you that I do truly love you, Dionysios Dimitriou.Not just for your looks and amazing body and the way you make me feel…’ she blushed but went on ‘…but because you’ve got integrity and you’re kind and you went against everything you knew to create a family, even though you told yourself it was for more practical reasons.You love your son.You did it because you were looking for love.’

Tara’s words hit a chord inside him even though his first instinct was to deny it.She’d said she was lonely in that apartment.But he’d been lonely too.There was no real need for him to pass down his business—he didn’t even come from that kind of background.And he knew he couldn’t care less if Niko wanted to inherit it.He wanted his son to be happy.He wanted more for his son than he’d ever had.To beloved?

What about you?prompted a little voice.

The thought of giving voice or a name to the swirling mass of tangled emotions inside him didn’t bear thinking about.That way lay annihilation.

He assured himself that she was wrong.He’d been Tara’s first lover.She thought she loved him.She was confusing lust with love.He was profoundly damaged.And yet he still wanted her.It beat through him now like a life force.Not fading.Getting stronger.

Maybe he could meet her halfway.

He shook his head.‘I’m sorry.I can’t tell you what you want to hear… I think after some time has passed you’ll realise that what you’re feeling isn’t actually that deep…’

That blue-green gaze narrowed on him.Her hair was down.She was wearing a denim button-down dress.Bare legs.Sandals.And Dion ached from wanting her.

She folded her arms across her chest.‘Do not patronise me, Dion.I know how I feel, and I want you, body, heart and soul.Nothing less.’

She was like a warrior.Dion had the strangest urge to go to his knees before her and beg for mercy.He had a sudden fear that he would drive her away and that sent a shard of ice into his gut.He felt panicky.

‘I can’t offer you that, but I could offer you a marriage…That way we’d be together and you’d have legal custody of Niko, for ever.’And he could have her in his life and not think too much about how she made him feel.About her words.

Tara’s eyes widened.‘You’d offer me marriage, like some sort of compensation for not being able to tell me you love me.We’d exist in a slightly less dysfunctional situation than we currently do.’

‘Tara… I wish I could give you more…but I just can’t…’

‘Can’t, or won’t?’

He couldn’t answer.It was as if a massive stone were lodged high in his chest.The past was all around him, whispering at him to protect himself at all costs.

Tara just said, ‘Right, I have to get something.Wait here, I’ll be back.’And then as Dion watched, she picked up her bag and left the suite, the door closing behind her.

As if sensing his mother was gone, Niko woke with a little cry.Dion went over and picked him up, cradling him against his chest.

Dion felt cold inside.Tara had said she would be back but he knew he’d driven her away, exactly as he’d planned to do all along.But of course he didn’t feel remotely triumphant or relieved.He felt bereft.He was a coward.She’d offered herself to him and what had he done?Nothing.Offered her half a marriage in a moment of panic at the thought of not having her in his life.