Page 6 of Gilded Bird

Maddox does not want me the way he said earlier—he can’t.

Aside from being old enough to be his mother, I know my shortcomings. My husband never made me feel bad about the extra weight I never lost after Jameson. He claimed to like the curves I got after giving birth and nursing. I have just begun accepting the soft rolls, and the marks of motherhood on my skin.

Thinking of Maddox seeing me bare, his big, perfect body pressed against mine, I almost laugh. It would never happen. Not just because it is oh, so wrong. No, he would see all my imperfections, and whatever fuzzy vision he has of me in his head would be ruined.

“Ma, would you mind Maddox seeing you home?”

Coming out of my sad reverie, I nod. No, of course, I don’t mind. Why would I mind Maddox taking me home? Oh, hell, wait,yes I do. Don’t I? I do not think I should be alone with him. Not until I know how to talk some sense to him.

Before I can tell my son how bad of an idea it is, he rounds the table, kissing my cheek and shaking hands with his best friend. Then he and Jade are gone. I never even have a chance to speak. I shrink back from Maddox, but he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“You ready to go, Mika? Would you rather have some dessert?”

Eyes swinging to his handsome face, I shake my head. How does he make that sound so dirty? “No. I want to go. Please, stop touching me. It is so inappropriate, Maddox. If Jameson had any idea…”

“He has an idea, babe,” he murmurs, his other hand lifting to brush some hair back from my face. He pauses, then his hand cradles my cheek, forcing my gaze to meet his. “He has always had an idea, Mika. How could he not see it when I look at you?”

“Maddox, this is wrong. There is nothing between us. There could never be. I am old enough to be your mother, for god’s sake. I am divorced, I am a mess, and I would never upset my son.”

“You should have been divorced years ago,” he husks, his voice warm against my ear. “You deserve so much more than you were given. I want to give you everything. Everything you were denied for so long. He might be upset at first, but once he sees how serious I am, he will understand. Besides, I told you, he has an idea.”

Pushing back, I am shaking. Not just because I am afraid of being seen with him this way. Because I am starting to forget this is wrong. I would love to have someone put me first. To feel wanted and adored by someone. But it does not matter what I want—it could never be him.

“What do you mean when you say that? He has an idea?”

“Mika, did you never notice that I never dated? Never had a serious relationship with anyone. Not one that counted, none that lasted. How could I waste my time with anyone else if I knew it was you? That it would always be you for me, even if it shouldn’t be. Even if it never could be, I couldn’t stand the idea of being with anyone else.”

Well, hell. What does a woman say to that? To the kind of words she has dreamt of hearing from a man? From a man who could make her feel something in return, make her feel good, feel desired? There is no way I can let myself get drunk on his words because they can’t be true.

“I was married, Maddox. How could you have ever thought about me this way?”

Maddox sits back, grasping my chin, his thumb pressing to my mouth. “You were never in love with him. You loved him, yes. Of course, you did, he gave you Jameson and made you feel safe. There is no shame in that. I knew you would not be together forever, so I was just fine waiting.”

“Maddox,” I say firmly as my fingers untangle from his. “Whatever you were waiting for, whatever youthinkcan happen, it cannot. I am flattered you might find me attractive…”

“Find you attractive,” Maddox grins, his caramel eyes swirling with heat. “Baby, I think you are the most beautiful thing on this earth. The first time I ever got off, I was thinking of you. At some party you wore this yellow dress. God, you were sofucking perfect. You lit up the place. There was something different, that dress was…it was sexier than anything you had worn before. You were testing him I think. I failed the test.”

Flushing hot at his admission, I bow my head. Yes, I remember the party. It was one of our summer parties and I was desperate for attention from my husband. I was so alone. No, not just alone—I waslonely. We worked together selling real estate and I tried to be a devoted mother and wife. I just wanted him toseeme. I chose a sexy butter-yellow dress that fit my curves and made me feel good.

“Do not talk to me that way,” I plead as I pant to catch my breath. I am uncomfortable between my legs, my thighs rubbing together. “This is wrong, Maddox. Can’t you see that?”

“No, baby, I can’t. All I see is how flushed you got once I told you I came for the first time because of you. I see this,” he purrs, reaching out to rub the back of his knuckles against my stiff nipples. “I see how you can’t catch your breath because you like me talking to you this way. Hearing how bad I wanted you. How I would have taken you that night if I thought you would have let me.”

Closing my eyes, I shake my head. No. No, this is wrong. He cannot want me. Even as I keep repeating that in my head, letting it stream through my brain like ticker tape, I cannot stop how I feel. How my pussy aches with the need to be touched, to be filled. How badly I would love to go back to that night and let him take me in that yellow dress, because God, I wanted someone to want me then.

I want someone to want me now, even if it is wrong.

“Mika,” he breathes, pulling my chair loudly across the floor until I am tucked between his thighs. “You can have whatever you want. Whoever you want. Let it be me,” he hums the words as one of his hands slips between my thighs. “I have spent half my life wanting you, even when itwaswrong. Now it’s not. I am a grown man,” he hisses, yanking at my hand until it presses against his zipper. “You feel me, baby? I am grown. Let me show you, Mika, let it be me.”

Eyes meeting his, I take a trembling breath. He is not wrong. He’s a grown man. Grown enough to make choices. I am not married, I do not owe anything to anyone. I could let myself have this. Let myself have him. Even at the risk of hurting my son. Then I think of him tonight, gazing at Jade, so in love, it lit the whole room up.

Shouldn’t I get a chance to have at least a taste of that feeling?

“Yes,” I whisper, the word barely audible. “Yes, Maddox.”

Chapter Four

Maddox