Page 184 of Beautiful Scars

“He’ll be sentenced for a lot more than your abduction,” Mom says coldly.

“If you could have pinned something on him by now, I’m sure you would have done it al—”

“He murdered Alex in cold blood, Meisie.”

The hair on my arms stand up. “What?” I ask, scooting forward to wedge myself between the two front seats. “That’s impossible. I’ve been with him the whole time. He’s never had a chance to leave Scotland. And Alex is in jail. It’s just not...?”

Mom lifts a finger, and I trail off. My mind’s going a mile a minute as thoughts flood it. But then it all falls in place, and my body sags.

“You set him up.” It’s the only thing that makes sense.

“Did I?” she murmurs, as if she’s thinking about something else. Probably double-checking to make sure she covered her tracks adequately. She’s always been a schemer, my mom. That’s why she does so well in politics. With her it’s not just about being three moves ahead. It’s a game of snakes and ladders, and she’s gone and greased every single one of them.

“You want me to testify? Because I’ll testify all right. About how Kill’s been by my side every minute of every—”

“I was protecting you!” Mom’s voice fills the vehicle’s cabin. Even her driver turns to her in surprise before he catches himself and hurriedly looks ahead again.

Mom twists around, fingers pale against her prim red nails as she grips the side of the seat. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you!” She starts counting. “I let your father take you to Johannesburg, because you fought so hard to stay with him, I didn’t want you to hate me for keeping you here.”

My heart’s knocking against my ribs. I’ve never seen Mom this angry before, this...emotional. Her eyes are brimming behind her thick glasses, and for the first time since I can remember they look ready to spill into real human tears.

“I paid for your schooling when he refused.” She bends back another finger. “I took off the security detail I had on you twenty-four-seven because he promised me you’d be okay.”

A tear falls and I watch it trail down her cheek with horror. “I didn’t know—”

She bends another finger. “When I heard what had happened, about Alex, I was the one who made sure they found him. That he served time instead of just getting a rap on the knuckles. Me.” She stabs a thumb against her chest, the violent gesture jarring free another tear. “When I heard you were giving birth—”

She chokes here, and it feels like each word is a thorn snagging into my heart. I’d never told her I was knocked up. Why would I? By then my casual dislike had transformed into something akin to hate.

“Givingbirth,” she whispers furiously, “I couldn’t let Grace stay. Not there. Not in that cesspool of a country. And I knew you would never agree to come here. Not with your father poisoning you against me. So I took her.” Mom puts her nose in the air, pushes back her shoulders. “I took her, and I kept her safe until you’d come to your senses. Until you showed even a hint of being emotionally...readyenough to do what it takes to be a mother.”

She swipes away the last tear with her knuckle, quivering with what I can only assume is anger at letting her emotions show so boldly.

“I dideverythingI could to keep you off the news. Out of the spotlight. So he wouldn’t know where to look for you. And when Alex flew over here looking for you, for Grace, I did what I had to do to keep you safe. To keep her safe.”

My lips feel numb. “I didn’t know,” I rasp. “You never told me.”

“Well, I’m telling you now.” I think she wanted to sound angry, but she just sounds tired. “I’ll never stop protecting you, Meisie. Or my grandchild. I can’t.”

“But you can’t pin this on him. You can’t let Cillian take the fall for—”

“For what?” she barks out, and just like that the anger is back. But I’m starting to see it differently now. Not so much anger as fierce maternal instinct kicking in. Like how bears are scary and stuff, but oh boy, you don’t want to piss off Mama bear. Ever. “He committed a crime.”

“Because you made him—”

“I didn’tmakehim do anything.” She takes a visible breath. “The man does what he wants. Meisie, if you’d seen what he did to that man…” She presses her eyes closed, and when they open, I swear I see fear in them. “I’d never let you testify against him. I’d never let you within a mile of him, so help me God. He’s a monster. Amonster.”

I swallow, then again, but the lump in my throat refuses to budge. “But…”

I love him.

The words don’t leave my mouth, but they echo in my head like I yelled them.

“He was protecting me too,” I tell her. “Just like you.”

She shifts, her eyes dropping for just a fraction of a second. Because she knows. Somehow, she already knows it’s true. That he loves me. That I love him.

“Why wouldn’t you want someone like that in my corner?” I ask her quietly. “Someone who’d go to just as great lengths as you would to protect me?”