Page 179 of Beautiful Scars

Chapter 16

CILLIAN

The calm feeling is still settled around me, but I don’t know if it’s the one before the storm, or the one after. I lift my head, but immediately lean back on the sofa, the leather cool against the back of my neck.

I’m so tired. And it’s not even my eyes—my eyes are fine. It’s my muscles, my bones.

I tuck my foot under the table and drag it toward me. Then I grab the note and roll it up.

Derek looks disappointed. Fine. I’m disappointed in myself.

I throw the note back down and kick the table away. It’s not going to help. I think I’m beyond the stage where anything can help me.

The room is silent. Which is good. I like the silence.

She’s gone. Lost.Stolen—because I refuse to think she left me. And I don’t know how to get her back. I don’t even know where to look. The only man who knew is dead.

Now everyone is looking at me like I have the answers.

I don’t even know the fucking question.

But there is a massive question on the other side of the room. And this one I already know the answer to.

I get up from the sofa and grab the white box, kneeling down in front of my brother. “Will you get him some water, Sarah?”

Footsteps. Good.

“Cole.”

His eyelids flicker but he barely moves.

I try again, tapping him on the cheek and sitting him up.

“Cole, take your medicine.”

He’s confused. Disorientated. I’ve already given him medicine, straight into his arm.

“Open,” I tell him, placing a pill in his mouth. Sarah comes back with the water, and that helps the pill go down.

“Open.”

Another one. Another sip of water.

“Open.”

Another one.

“Kill?”

That’s Sarah. I glance at Derek, warning him to keep her away.

“Open.”

He’s struggling to sit up, so I prop his head up with my arm, switching between the pills and the glass of water.

Then I lay him back down and I sit on the floor beside him.

Sarah and Derek just stare at us, while I stare at him.