Page 19 of My Ex's Billionaire Brothers

I have lost my damn mind.

Because the truth is, I’m horrified by what just happened and aroused by what just happened andhorrifiedthat I’m aroused by what just happened. There are no words to describe how disconcerting it is to realize I liked Theo’s hand on me.

I liked the idea of him spanking me in some half-lit motel walkway. And I took him up on the offer. Who does that?

A tiny voice in my head screams that I should be ashamed. But another part—the part that’s been caged my entire life—revels in the memory.

Maddeningly, it’s not just Theo I’m drawn to. I can’t stop thinking about Hunter’s playful smile and how he kissed meearlier, or how Gage’s imposing presence makes my heartbeat quicken when he walks into a room.

I push off the door and walk into the main area of the motel suite. A thin lamp with a tacky shade sits on an end table, casting dingy light across the worn carpet. The small television on the dresser is turned off, and the only other illumination comes from the stark overhead fixture, which buzzes faintly. My heart rate spikes again when I notice Gage emerging from the cramped bathroom, wearing nothing but a white motel towel slung around his hips.

The overhead glare highlights every carved line of his chest and arms, his shoulders broad enough to make me swallow hard. Beads of water cling to his tan skin, rolling over the Sailor Jerry tattoo sleeve on his left arm. He’s the eldest of the Carver brothers, and physically, the largest—tall, hulking, with a controlled intensity in his gaze.

He catches sight of me and lifts his chin in greeting. “Everything okay?” There’s a tone to his words that makes me think he’d hunt down anything that made me not-okay.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I manage. My focus keeps drifting to the sculpted ridges of his abdomen, and I’m not sure how to politely tear my eyes away.

He seems to notice but doesn’t comment. Instead, he strides over to a small bag near the table and rummages through it. “Where’s the whiskey?” he murmurs, more to himself than to me. “I know I put a bottle in here somewhere.” He pats the outside of the bag, then pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s triumphantly. He looks at me again, gaze flicking over my anxious posture. “Care for a drink?”

“Maybe,” I say, uncertain. “I’m not much of a whiskey person, but tonight might call for something strong.” I’m not sure if I mean the whiskey or him.

He raises a brow, unscrewing the cap. The subtle smell of whiskey seeps into the room. “I wasn’t in the shower long enough for you to have a rough night.”

I let out a nervous half laugh. “Roughlife.” I can hardly believe that a day ago, I was engaged to Calvin, living in the lap of luxury without a worry in the world, and now I’m in a seedy motel with his brothers, who want to help me figure myself out. It’s surreal.

The most surreal part is how much happier I am already. Calvin never understood me. Never loved me. The further I am from him, the more I’m wondering if I ever understood or loved him.

Gage pours himself a small measure of whiskey into a motel water cup, then glances up at me. “You want to talk about it?”

I shake my head automatically, but part of me yearns for connection, for a sounding board to help me process all of this. “I…I don’t know,” I stammer, stepping closer to the small table. The memory of Hunter’s kiss and Theo’s careful hands is still fresh on my lips and skin, making me feel uncomfortably warm.

Gage leans one hip against the table, still in nothing but that towel, and lifts the whiskey cup to his mouth. He takes a small sip, eyes on me. “Anya, I can see you’re rattled. Doesn’t take a genius to pick up on that.” A faint, knowing smirk curves his mouth. “Did something happen while I was in the shower?”

I nearly choke on my own saliva, though I manage to keep my composure—barely. I’m hopeless at hiding my reaction, it seems, because Gage’s eyes narrow with curiosity.

“Well,” he says, setting his drink aside, “you’re red as a beet, so I’m guessing the answer is yes.” His voice is teasing but kind, and it coaxes a reluctant giggle out of me.

I stare at the pattern of the carpet, summoning the nerve to admit the truth. “I might have had a moment with Hunter. And then another with Theo. I didn’t plan it. It just happened.”

Gage nods thoughtfully, not at all shocked. “So you’ve had quite the introduction to our twisted little arrangement, hmm?”

“Maybe.” I push hair behind my ear, fidgeting. “I’m sorry. Is that weird? I mean, you three are brothers, and here I am…”

“The idea is for you to explore, figure out what suits you, with whichever of us you choose—or all of us.” He keeps his tone calm, almost reassuring. “But nothing has to happen if you’re not comfortable. The moment you change your mind or say no, everything stops.”

They keep saying that, but in my experience, guys don’t like to stop once you get them going. “Thank you.”

He offers a faint, comforting smile. “We take consent seriously. Always have, always will. That’s how it works at Sins too. No one does a damn thing without your express permission.”

I slide a hand across my stomach, trying to quell the nervous butterflies swirling there. “I never had that. Billy Street, my first boyfriend, never gave me the option—he just pressured me…the way teenage boys do, and I put up with it, because I thought that’s how it was supposed to be.”

“Sounds like he didn’t deserve you either.”

I snort a quiet laugh. “He was the captain of the Purity Club at our school, ironically enough. But behind closed doors, he wasanything but pure. The more he pressured me, the less I wanted to date anyone. I didn’t date again until I met Calvin.” My lips twist into something like regret. “He charmed me so easily, but I thought it was real.”

Gage’s expression darkens slightly. “He can be smooth when he wants something. But all that glitters is not gold, yeah?”

“Right.” I gaze at the scuffed toe of my sock. “I guess I never expected anything with you three. You’re so different from him. From everything I’ve known.”