Page 104 of Wrecked

I taste the mashed potatoes and give the two junior chefs a thumbs-up. “Great job on the potatoes, guys.”

We’re having an early dinner because Beth and Shane are going out tonight to see a philharmonic concert downtown. While they’re gone, Sam and I will watch the kids.

By the time we’re done with dessert—bread puddingwithout raisins, as requested by Luke—it’s time for Shane and Beth to change into their evening attire.

Sam and I are almost finished cleaning up the kitchen when they return to kiss their kids goodnight.

“Goodnight, sweetie,” Beth says as she kisses Luke on his forehead.

“Wow, Mama, you look pretty!” he says as he admires her dress.

“Thank you!” She kisses Ava, too. “Goodnight, pumpkin.”

“Be good for Sam and Cooper,” Shane tells Luke as he picks the boy up and kisses his cheek.

“I will, Daddy!” Luke says. “Have fun.”

Once we’ve got the kids cleaned up and in their pajamas, we hang out with them in the family room until it’s their bedtime at eight.

Sam lies on the floor next to Luke as they build some crazy structure with these brightly colored, chunky building blocks that snap together. Ava sits in my lap while I read her a storybook about a baby kangaroo going on a walkabout to find her mommy.

As I watch Sam interact with Luke, I can’t help thinking he’d be a great dad. He’d be one of those hands-on dads who help their kids build forts and make snowmen.

We’ve talked about having kids. We both want them. The question is how we go about doing it. Obviously, surrogacy is an option, although you’ve got to find the right woman. And there’s adoption, too. Maybe we could do both.

We love kids. But honestly, I never saw myself getting married, let alone having kids. That has always been a pipe dream to me. And now, maybe it’s not. We’re getting married soon. Starting a family would be the next logical step for us.

Eight o’clock rolls around. We help the kids brush their teeth, and Luke has his last potty break of the night. Then I read two story books to them before we tuck them into their beds.

Sam throws a laughing Luke over his shoulder and carts him off to his bedroom. I take Ava to hers. As I start to lay her in her crib, she starts crying and clings to me like a little monkey. I end up rocking her instead, hoping she’ll fall asleep, and then I can simply lay her in bed.

The rocking goes well. She falls asleep pretty quickly, but I don’t have the heart to put her in bed. So I just keep rocking, enjoying the slight weight of her warm little body against my chest. Her knees are tucked up beneath her, and her head is resting on my shoulder. I’m pretty sure she’s sucking her thumb.

I just happen to glance over at the nursery door and see Sam standing there, leaning against the door jamb, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s watching us with a wistful look on his face.

“She started crying,” I whisper.

Sam walks over to us and gently runs his fingers through her light brown curls. “I want us to have kids,” he says quietly.

Hearing him say that just kills me. “I know you do. So do I.”

“I want a baby. Specifically,yourbaby.”

“Then you’re talking about surrogacy.”

Sam nods. “Yeah.”

“We’d have to find someone. I don’t think it will be easy.”

Sam shrugs. “We will. I have faith.”

“I mean, we have to find a woman who’s willing to be a surrogate fortwo men.”

“I know,” he says. “We will.” Sam carefully lifts Ava into his arms, carries her to her crib, and lays her down. He stands there a minute to make sure she’s not going to wake up.

I join him at the side of the crib. “Luke’s asleep?”

“Yeah.” Sam takes my hand and leads me to the door.