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Dr. Alaska

Page 74

by Jillian David

“I’m scared.”

He shifted to face her more squarely, but said nothing. Instead, he simply sat and listened.

“It’s different here. I don’t know for certain that this will be a fit. I mean, it’s beautiful here. I like the people. I feel more like myself in this place than I did in Georgia.”

“Still hearing thebut.” His warm voice wrapped around her like a hug.

“I need to stand on my own two feet financially. Be a confident, complete person first before getting into a long-term relationship. I need to trust myself to choose someone that won’t hurt me.”Damn it. She swiped at a tear. “Sorry. This is heavy stuff.”

“I’m glad you trust me with this.” Maverick tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “What do you need from me?”

“Oh my gosh, you’re wonderful,” she gushed. “This, right here. The support and patience. Problem is, I don’t know long it will take me to trust myself or the situation. I don’t know when I’m going to feel financially safe with a partner again.”

“The last thing I want is for you to feel like you rushed to make any decision. But let me say this. I am falling in love with you. I want to try and make something work between us. Yes, I want you,” he leaned forward and whispered. “Naked on this hospital bed, if I could get away with it.”

Her shudder turned into a laugh. “Guessing the credentialing organizations would not look kindly on that sort of bed utilization.”

“Customer satisfaction would be high.”

“True.”

“What I need you to hear is that you’re worth waiting for. If you want to try for a relationship, then I’m willing to be as patient and creative as needed.”

“Wow, Maverick. That’s—no one has ever said anything like that.”

“Now, see, that’s a crime.” He drew her hand up and brushed his lips over the palm.

Pulling in a big breath, she said, “I turned down the Utah job. I’m going to finish out the assignment here through March, then move to a permanent position in Yukon Valley.”

“That’s great news!”

“I’m a little scared from a financial point of view. But I need to trust myself to be responsible and to trust my instincts about the people around me.”

“If ever I make you feel uncomfortable—financially or otherwise—you have to let me know.”

“It’s mostly a matter of depending on my own gut again.” She pulled his hand to her so she could rest her cheek against it. “You, I can depend on.” She glanced up.

He watched her, steady, waiting.

God, she didn’t deserve this level of patience. “If you’re willing to give this… us… a go, then I’m in a good place to try.”

With a sharp shake of his head, he said, “I don’t want to try.”

Disappointment dropped like a brick into her stomach. “Oh. I mean, sure. Okay. That’s for you to decide, and I understand.”

“Lee.” He let go and cupped her jaw with both of his hands.

“Yes?”

“I’m not interested in a half-assed relationship with you. Not maybe. Not try. I need to know we’re both working toward something meaningful.”

Her heart thumped as she nodded. “I want you, Maverick. I want the guy who loves his dogs and rescues people from car accidents. I want the man who enjoys minus-twenty-degree weather and who values me for who I am.”

“Lee, you have no idea how much you mean to me. You’re an amazing woman and I need you in my life.”

“So that means…”

“Um.”