Page 92 of The Billionaire's Virgin

“Not really,” I said. “I mean… I did have a mother. But she was never really around. I kind of had to do things for myself. It taught me to be independent.”

“Why wasn’t your mommy around?” Jenna asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Well… um… it’s difficult to explain,” I said. “I suppose she was busy with her life.”

Jenna frowned, and I knew she couldn’t understand, but I would only be able to tell her the whole story when she was older.

“My mommy died when I was little,” Jenna said.

I nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t remember her.”

“Have you seen pictures of her?” I asked.

Jenna nodded. “But… I don’t know her.”

It was a profound statement for a child to make and I knew she didn’t mean it the way it sounded. She was just stating a simple fact, as straightforward as she saw it. But there were deeper implications to what she had just said that even she wouldn’t be able to grasp until she was much older.

“No, you may not know her,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean she didn’t love you. It doesn’t mean you can’t love her.”

Jenna looked at me with a puzzled expression. “Really?”

“Really.” I nodded. “She’s a part of you, just like you’re a part of her. That’s the bond mothers have with their daughters.”

Jenna smiled and nodded, but then her expression grew pensive again. “Sometimes I wish I had a mommy,” she admitted.

I smiled at her reassuringly. “There’s nothing wrong with that, sweetheart,” I said. “We all miss what we don’t have.”

“Why can’t you be my mommy?” Jenna asked.

We had had this conversation before with Reed, and I had deftly managed to change the subject. But I now realized that Jenna thought about this far more than I had initially thought. I realized that living here in the apartment with her and Reed didn’t exactly make matters easy either. We so often looked like the perfect family; we so often felt like the perfect family. It made sense that Jenna would wish for it to be real. Now that Sofia had been dealt with for the most part, I saw no reason to continue to live here with Reed and Jenna. It was obviously confusing the child, and I didn’t want any part of this to affect her.

“Jenna,” I said gently. “We’ve talked about this. I’m your nanny.”

“But if you married Daddy, then you wouldn’t be my nanny anymore. You’d be my mommy… for real.”

I sighed. “I can’t just marry your daddy, Jenna.”

“Why not?” she asked. “You make him happy.”

I froze in place, shocked by that statement. Did she know something she shouldn’t have? Had she seen Reed and I kissing or had she noticed me sneaking out of his room at night or vice versa? Or was it something simpler than that? Was she perceptive enough to have caught a glance or a smile that she had interpreted to mean that we were together?

“Why do you say that?” I asked cautiously.

“Because he smiles a lot when you’re around,” Jenna replied. “And he laughs a lot too.”

I smiled. “I think that has more to do with you than with me, honey.”

“No, it’s you,” Jenna insisted. “I know it.”

I bit my lip and wondered how to change the subject this time around. In the end, I kissed Jenna’s forehead and stroked her hair.

“Listen, I know that you’d like to have a mother, but I’m right here whenever you need me, Jenna,” I said. “I don’t have to be married to your father to be there for you.”

“Promise me you won’t ever leave?”

I stared at her for a long second, wondering what I should do, knowing that I had no right to make her that kind of promise. Any number of things could happen between now and a year from now. Any number of things could happen between now and a week from now. Reed and I could break up. Jenna could outgrow having a nanny. It was not a promise I could make.