Page 98 of Dirty Boss

Do you need to be alone, or do you want me to come over? What’s your address? I just need to finish one flight booking for a client and then I’m free for the rest of the day.

I typed out my instinctual response, which was that I wanted to be alone. Then I stared at the words, my thumb hovering over the little paper plane that would send the message, and I couldn’t make myself press it.

My back ached. My hip was clicking more than ever. I sat in my pristine apartment, feeling untethered and utterly alone.

Deena was reaching a hand out to me, offering her help, and it felt dangerous to accept. I’d accepted Vaughn’s advances. I’d let myself fall for him, only to realize that he didn’t feel that way about me at all. He thought I was some fake, vapid social climber. He thought I was betraying him.

And why wouldn’t he? He knew I’d spoken to James while I was engaged to Cole. He knew I’d acted wrongly, and it wasn’t a huge stretch of the imagination to think that I’d do it again.

Except—

Except itwasa stretch, because my engagement to Cole hadn’t been my choice. Not really. I’d been under my parents’ thumbs, living a life that had been prescribed for me from the moment I was born. As long as I did what was expected of me, I could stay in the family fold. I could live a life of luxury and privilege. But I’d been on a leash.

With Vaughn, I’d been independent. Struggling, yes, but I’d made the decision to be with him on my own. That was so much more powerful to me. It meant so much more. I waschoosinghim.

But he didn’t choose me back.

Except for those nine missed calls and seventeen texts you haven’t looked at, my brain reminded me.

Swallowing past the constriction in my throat, I erased my message to Deena and typed out my address. An hour later, my buzzer rang, and I let her into the building. When I opened my apartment door for her, she greeted me with arched brows, a sympathetic smile, and two bulging bags.

“I brought ice cream, chocolate, chips, hummus and pita, and half a dozen takeout flyers. I wasn’t sure if you eat your feelings with sweet or savory, so…”

I huffed out a watery laugh, and she set the bags down before wrapping me in a hug. I broke down immediately, my emotions off-kilter, my world bleak and miserable.

It took me an hour and a half to get the whole story out. Deena fed me chocolate and then ordered us some Thai food. I sat on the couch with my legs wrapped in a blanket, feeling oddly vulnerable yet happy she was here.

“I shouldn’t even be mad at him,” I said when our food arrived and I opened my container of tom yum soup. I inhaled the delicious aromas and then blew out a sigh. “He has every right to question me about James.”

Deena gave me a strange look. “What do you mean?”

“He knows what happened between me and Cole,” I explained.

“Is this more of your karmic retribution bullshit?”

“Excuse me?”

“You think you need to be punished?”

I squirmed, dipping my spoon into the soup and swirling around. “Well…yes. I had an emotional affair, Deena.”

“And Cole didn’t?”

I jerked. “Well—he—I don’t—” I snapped my mouth shut, frowning. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“He gets to have his happily-ever-after, even though he drifted away from you as soon as…what’s her name?”

“Carrie.”

Deena blinked at me, her head moving back. “Wait. Are we talking about Cole Christianson? Carrie as in Carrie Woods?”

“I don’t know her maiden name?—”

“IknowCarrie!” Deena exclaimed. “I worked with Carrie! She’s amazing! You’ve been talking about Carrie and Cole this whole time?”

I forced a smile. “Oh, um—yes. That’s great that you know her—ha. What are the chances…” Inside, I wilted. The one friend I thought I had was loyal to someone else. She might not believe in karma, but the pattern in my life seemed pretty consistent. I’d gone against what I was supposed to do, and now I was suffering for it.

“And she started dating her boss…” Deena laughed. “Oh, youreallydon’t need to feel bad.”