Page 65 of What You Own

“From that happening to you again.” Dad looked genuinely upset now, and it made something deep inside me ache. “From it being worse the next time. I told you that I lost your mother, Adam. I couldn’t save her from herself. I didn’t want to lose you, not to violence like that. Not when I could do something to stop it.”

He didn’t get to use Mom’s death as an excuse for imploding my life and nearly destroying Ryan’s. “You think I like knowing I’ll spend the rest of my life being different from most people? That I’m wondering if the guy on the street who looks at me funny will try to hurt me? That I’ll be called names and denied basic rights and judged based on who I love? Iknowall that. But you know the one single person who I never wanted to fear hatred and rejection from? You, Dad.”

“Adam, you don’t have to—”

“I’m gay. I love Ryan. Nothing you say is going to change that.”

Dad did something then that shocked the hell out of me—he wilted. All of the fight went out of him, and he seemed to age a few years. He stared at me for a while, long enough to feel like he was memorizing me right before he said good-bye. My heart twisted sharply, and I wanted Ryan there to keep the rest of me from shattering into pieces.

“I took a lot of my stuff already,” I said in a thin, shaky voice. “I can come for the rest next week.”

He didn’t say anything, didn’t nod or indicate that he agreed or disagreed with my decision. He turned on his heel and walked out.

He left me behind.

The far wall blurred. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me close, against a warm, familiar chest. “I’ve got you, babe,” Ryan whispered. “I’ve got you.”

He did. I knew he always would.

And I’d have him for as long as he let me.

Epilogue

THEFOOTBALLfield is a mad scramble of students, family members, and friends, all trying to find each other in a mass of at least six hundred. I let the crush carry me along toward the ten-yard line where I asked my crowd to meet me after the graduation ceremony ended. My cap and tassel got lost at some point, but I have my diploma case firmly in hand as I seek familiar faces.

There.

Ryan grins like a fool. He’s flanked by his parents, Ellie, and Joe, and they’re all beaming at me. My hug almost knocks Ryan over backward. He uses his superior height and size to lift me up a little, feet right off the turf, and I laugh out loud.

“Congratulations, graduate,” he says.

I wrestle away from my captor and hug everyone else who’s come today to support me. Ellie glommed onto me as fiercely as she did Ryan, which is good because the pair are kind of a matched set. She didn’t mind that I left campus to spend every single weekend and holiday at her and Ryan’s place. I’m moving in permanently tonight, until Ryan and I figure out what our next step is.

Darren and Tracey Sanders seem as proud of me as if they’d birthed me themselves, and I’m proud to have them stand up for me—especially since Tracey sent me back to school with food almost every time I stopped by to visit. And Joe. He kept me on as his intern the rest of last summer, and he made sure I wasn’t in financial trouble until I did turn twenty-one and gained access to my trust. I’ll never be able to properly thank him for looking out for me.

“Scott couldn’t make it?” I ask Ellie once hugs have been dispensed.

“No, something came up, but he sent a card,” Ellie replies. According to Ryan, her healthy decision to start dating Scott Bakerfield last summer and dump her bouncer boyfriend was nothing short of a miracle. I didn’t know much about her history with guys, so I took Ryan’s word for it and encouraged the pair. Seems ten months is a record for Ellie.

“So where do you want to have dinner?” Joe asks. “Any place in town to celebrate. It’s on me.”

“There’s a new Italian bistro over on Tenth that I hear is amazing,” I say. “Everyone okay with Italian?”

Enthusiastic nods make the decision on dinner. I scan the faces around us, hopeful that one in particular did show up. I sent him the invitation on a wing and a prayer, because sometimes people surprise you. My father and I haven’t spoken since August. He sent a birthday card through the mail. The distance hurts a little less each day, but I doubt the hole in my heart will ever really fill in. All I can do is build around it.

With our plans settled, we head toward the parking lot. Halfway there, Ryan tugs on my hand. We stop walking. I follow his gaze to the chain-link fence surrounding the west side of the football field.

Dad stands by the fence, hands in the pockets of his suit pants, expression neutral. He’s about fifty feet away, close enough to know when our gazes lock. He nods his head slowly, and I nod back. It isn’t a lot. He came, though, and that’s enough. Maybe in time we can rebuild what we’ve lost.

I hope we can.

He turns and walks away first. I watch him go. Ryan’s arm slides around my waist, and I lean sideways into him. “You okay, hoss?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah, I am.” I twist my neck so I can smile at him. “I really am.”

“Good. Then let’s go get some pasta.”

“I was thinking brick oven pizza.”

“I don’t care what we eat, as long as it’s soon.”

“Hungry?”

Ryan’s smile goes wolfish. “Not for food. Your graduation present’s the kind not fit for company.”

My blood hums with the promise in those words. “Then let’s get going, slow poke.” I grab his hand and tug him toward the cars and our waiting family.