Page 69 of Hell Sent

This time, she didn’t have a quick answer ready. She frowned a little, surprised.

“I do not like what I am,” he said. “I don’t want to be a monster. But I am afraid I can’t be anything else.” He tried to pull his hand away from hers, but she tightened her grip on his fingers.

“I never asked you to be anything else. If you were anything else, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I am still sorry.”

“Be at ease, Azreth.”

He frowned at her, fearing she wasn’t taking him seriously. This was serious.

“You did not hurt me,” she said. “You did not betray me. You protected me. And don’t you dare say that you don’t love me. You did something you abhorred, something that caused you pain, in order to protect me. Is that not love?”

“That’s an ugly sort of love.”

“Perhaps. Life isn’t always clean and perfect, is it? Sometimes good things are intertwined with the bad, and we have to sort things out as best we can.” She leaned closer, making sure he was looking her in the eye and taking in every word she said. “I don’t want your shame. It does neither of us any good. I want your strength, your empathy, your humility, your curiosity, and all the other lovely things that make you wonderful. I don’t want anything else. I will never ask you to be something you cannot be.”

Her steadfast belief in him made him want to become better. Maybe she was right about him. Maybe he really could be a force of good in this world, like she was. Maybe, someday, people would look upon him not with fear and hatred, but with friendship and gratitude.

He bit his tongue for a long time, then said, “Tell me a service I can perform to earn your forgiveness.”

Raiya grew exasperated. “I require no service.”

“Please.”

She sighed, looking away, but he could see her thinking it over. Eventually she turned to him again, smiling. “Fine. I’ll give you a task to perform for me, but only if you give me one in exchange.”

He supposed that was the best he was going to get. “If that’s what you need.”

She nodded, satisfied. “Kiss me.”

“That is not a service.”

“Why? Because you enjoy it?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t see why that has any bearing on it.”

He couldn’t argue with that.

He bent over her and gave her the best, softest kiss he could manage. He didn’t know how mortals measured the quality of a kiss, but he knew that when Raiya kissed him like this, he felt like fire was coursing through him, and he hoped she felt the same way.

She smiled triumphantly when he pulled away. “All right. Tell me something I can do for you.”

He hesitated, afraid to say what was on the tip of his tongue. But someone who loved well would be truthful. Someone who loved well would lay themselves bare without fear of judgment or pain.

“I like your voice,” he said. And then, quietly, because this felt so shameful to admit, “I like hearing you say kind things to me.”

Raiya just stroked his hair, and he found that the absence of her voice did nothing to detract from his love for her, either.

“You are good enough,” she said after a while. Her hand shifted to his cheek as she studied him. “I love how clever you are, and how thoughtful and kind. I love your resilience and strength. When I’m with you, I feel braver, steadier. And gods, your beauty makes my knees weak…”

He interrupted her to press his lips against hers again. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against him, and she made a soft, surprised sound against his mouth as she arched her back. Her hands splayed on his chest, and her fingers flexed against him as heated desire began to scent her skin.

But then her hands wandered too close to the healing wound beneath his ribs, and his breath caught. She quickly let go of him.

“Sorry. I forgot,” she said.

“You didn’t hurt me.”

She touched his chest lightly. “You deserve all the pleasure in the world. And I intend to help you find it… Right after you’re in one piece again.”

He leaned in, lowering his voice as he brushed his lips against her. “There is no need to wait. You can be gentle, can’t you?”

He felt her grin against his skin. “Always.”