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Retribution. He regretted me that night, and I’ll make him regret he ever bought this place. But speaking of that, in return will I have to hear him having sex? Will I have to endure running into a random woman in the stairwell? The thought twists me up in the worst of ways. How will I be able to sleep if he’s on the other side of the hall?
I flop onto my bed and toss my forearms over my eyes. Maybe this won’t be such a big deal. We’ll both have our own lives and our schedules, and once we fall into that, we’ll be two passing ships. I can have my walls soundproofed. I should have done that already.
Ugh.
I pick up my phone and pull up my text stream with my girls.
Me: Jack is the person who moved right next door to me. He’s the one who bought that apartment.
Estlin: Oh. Uh. So I didn’t realize it was your building. I knew he bought a place on Commonwealth, but I didn’t think about it really because Commonwealth is so big. Owen mentioned it to me in passing, but both of us sort of forgot. I’m so sorry I didn’t ask more questions.
Sorel: Same. I mean, I mentioned that you lived on Commonwealth, but he was certain it wasn’t your building.
Me: It’s my building, and I’m not happy.
Katy: Try being civil. Or ignoring him.
Keegan: Yes. That.
Tinsley: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Laughing so hard I’m crying emoji*
Me: I hate you, Tins.
Tinsley: I’m so sad I’m not there to watch that in action. I’d pop some freaking corn and sit back because that’ll be a good show. Oh, the drama. The angst.
Me: He already saw my sex toys because he thought the package was his! This is not good.
Tinsley: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AH, this is the absolute best. More, give me more. I need all the tea. Did he touch them? Ask for a demonstration? Did you beat him over the head with a dildo?
Ugh. Despite myself and my ire, I can’t help but crack a smile.
Me: I should have beaten him with the dildo. Death by purple cock.
Katy: I’m sorry, what is this about you beating his package with your toys?
Estlin: Ew! Gross. *vomit emoji* No talking about my brother’s package!
Sorel: I second that. Jack is like a brother to me, and I don’t want to think about his package.
Me: Hey, can we focus here? Jack is my new neighbor, and I can’t live next to him. What do I do?
Kenna: Relax, Wren. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.
Me: Come over Friday evening, and I’ll prove to you that it is.
Keegan: We’ll be there. But she’s right, Jack is quiet and keeps to himself. Try not to panic.
Me: GIF: Panic mode activated.
Katy: *Eye roll emoji* Go play with your toys, and we’ll be there Friday. With wine.
Estlin: And bourbon.
Sorel: And food since I can’t drink. Oh, will you bake me those cake batter cookie things? Pretty please? I’ll totally side with you if you do.
Me: Yes. Because I think I’ll need all the chocolate right now.
Tinsley: Now I hate you and am so jealous! *Crying emoji*
