Page 4 of Fight or Flight
Katherine didn’t feel the need to step in as moderator just yet. They were all teenagers, at least according to their profiles. Let them speak freely. She truly did not want to censor them. Their words hardly warranted a reprimand. Katherine didn’t recall the profile for WHS524, so she clicked a few keys and brought it up. If he’d been truthful, he was a middle-aged adult who lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, worked as a nurse, and knew her books inside and out. He definitely didn’t fit the demographics of her average reader. She’d watch his comments. If he got too bossy, she’d kick him off the page. Easy-peasy.
WHS524: Keep your filth to yourself or else.
Katherine perked up. While the “or else” wasn’t quite a threat, she didn’t think it was necessary.
Bigfan216: Let’s cool it. This is a free speech zone for us to dream in. We’re as badass as the girls. Don’t want to get thrown off!
Purposely using “badass” to see if WHS524 would comment, Katherine waited, then saw he’d logged off. Good. She didn’t need to intervene. The others saw he’d left the page, too.
Blondebookbabe: What a jerk! Maybe we should turn him into the moderator who ISN’T doing their job! Get rid of him. Probably a perv anyway!!!
HotandCool: I say keep him so we can mess with him!
klcLUV/007: HotandCool, you’ve got guts! Blondebookbabe, I hope you aren’t tossed off for cussing!
Bigfan216: She won’t be. Cussing isn’t a big deal anymore. I always say the f-word; it’s lost its shock value. Sometimes, I say it in front of my foster parents, and they don’t seem to care!!!
klcLUV/007: My dad grounds me if I say “damn”!
Good for her father, Katherine silently agreed. While she didn’t want to encourage bad language, she hoped she’d elevated her level of coolness. She didn’t use bad language unless she stubbed a toe or something, and then it was mild. Swearing was not her jam, but when she was Darby, she figured she probably would say the f-word in front of her parents.
Anotherpingsounded from her laptop. Another new member alert. She went through the usual steps processing another teenage girl’s request. As expected, the new user joined the group a few seconds later by introducing themselves.
SKRfan4evr: Hey, fans!
klcLUV/007: You’re a soccer fan? Me too.
SKRfan4evr: Yep, and a GWUP fan, big time! Can’t wait for the next book to come out!
GWUP. Katherine approved of the acronym. It was faster than typing “Girls with Unusual Powers.” It was amazing that she’d created these characters that entertained so many people. Writing had made her happy for as long as she could remember—in a sense, it had saved her life—and it was gratifying to see how her writing made others happy, too.
HotandCool: Welcome, soccer girl! A new book is out next month.
Katherine monitored the page a bit longer. Seeing that the girls were just chatting about the books, she logged off. She needed to feed Sam and Sophie and let them out. Someday she hoped to take them for long walks on her property. It had over a hundred acres and mountain streams filled with trout, and she dreamed of bringing the tasty fish home and eating what her land provided. Every once in a while, she tried to venture outdoors, but then a panic attack would hit her head on, forcing her to remain inside to live the solitary life she’d grown accustomed to.
Though she had lived alone all these years, Katherine sometimes felt like she was being watched, that there was someone or something outside her house, lurking in the dark. It might be an animal—most likely it was—but she felt the presence of something, and it spooked her. She never told this to Doc or the delivery people. They already thought she was odd. No sense letting them think she was crazy, too.
Not having contact with people other than Doc Baker, the mail carrier, and the FedEx and UPS employees was sad, yet they treated her kindly. She knew they wouldn’t waste their time spying on her. Years ago, she’d explained her condition to the FedEx guys and girls and her mail carrier, who then told her UPS delivery folks. They’d accepted it and continued to deliver all she needed, placing her packages inside the doors she always kept unlocked. Often the delivery people would leave a little gift for her. A flowerpot for her herbs or packets of seedlings. Occasionally her mail carrier dropped off a bottle of local wine, always with a note attached. She so appreciated these small gestures of kindness. On holidays, she always made sure to have gifts for them and included a big bag of baked goods.
Katherine knew there was talk about her in town, especially among those who frequented the Apple Blossom Market. It was probably just normal small-town gossip, but it hurt when she read all the rumors posted on the Blowing Rock community website. The “crazy woman on the mountain,” they called her. Honestly, she didn’t blame them. Her life was weird, even though she’d learned to live quite comfortably. She understood the curiosity, the rumors. She’d probably do the same if she were in their place.
On her website, maintained by her publisher, there were hundreds of questions about the mysterious author. Gayle, her editor, told her not to look at the website. Of course that was impossible and unreasonable. So many times, Katherine was tempted to answer their questions. Gayle said the mystery surrounding her helped sell more books and helped to keep her employed. Katherine couldn’t attest to this one way or another, yet it didn’t prevent her from fantasizing about book tours and meeting those who read her books in person.Someday, she told herself.
Sam and Sophie followed her to the kitchen. She opened the French doors so they could romp outside while she prepared their food for the evening. She fed the big dogs organic kibble, adding duck, chicken, and organic eggs to the mix. A local farm Doc had recommended delivered the frozen ducks and chicken once a week. Both dogs weighed around seventy-five pounds and had hearty appetites. Providing them with proper nutrition came at a price, though this mattered little to her. It would’ve been difficult for her to maintain their top-notch diets had she not had a fortune left to her.
Once she’d started earning enough to sustain her large home and the needs of the dogs and herself, she refused to touch the millions of dollars that continued to flow in from the refineries in Texas and Louisiana. Her attorney, Lisa Pratt-Stevens, handled all business-related issues associated with the family estate and knew where to invest the profits. Katherine wanted no part of her inheritance at this stage of life. When the time came, she’d donate every last cent to charity or maybe Doc’s clinic.
Sam and Sophie bounded back inside, tongues hanging out of their mouths. “Drink your water,” Katherine said, and pointed to their bowls. The pair almost always waited for her instructions. They lapped up the water, then focused on the hefty portions of food in their bowls. Chomping, then licking, every morsel from their dishes, they stared at her, knowing they’d now get their evening treat. Katherine gave them each a natural beef strip, watching as they carried them over by the French doors she’d left open. The breeze cooled her as she stood before the doors, the fresh mountain air swirling, daring her to step outside to experience what she’d been unable to enjoy, always fearing the darkness that came over her.
Maybe, she thought as she watched Sam and Sophie gnawing on the treats,just one tiny step. The open doors led to a large deck with a staircase leading to the second floor. Katherine stood in the evening shadows. The sky was fading to a dark blue, with pink and peachy colors that couldn’t be replicated. The stars would be out tonight. The season was beginning to change. She watched as the fiery red ball disappeared behind the rolling mountains.Stunning, she thought as she stared at nature’s beauty. Wanting so badly to learn the trails, the animals, and what kind of trees were on her property, she slowly made her way closer so that she stood at the edge of the wood flooring, her feet mere inches from the deck. Her heart rate had already increased, and her hands trembled. She quickly stepped inside, away from the doors, and her heart returned to its normal rhythm after a few minutes.
Not yet. It was too frightening. Remembering the crowds as she had raced through the chaos of the Boston Marathon bombings, she knew it was at the root of her illness. Her online therapist had concluded this, too, and had encouraged her to start running marathons herself. Katherine no longer consulted her after this. She thought it was cruel to even suggest it. She’d read dozens of books on anxiety, panic attacks, and stories of those who’d fought and won the battle. She knew it could be done, knew she had to push through her fear . . . yet couldn’t. It was so frightening to feel that way. It was easier to stay inside, where she was comfortable and under control.
Her thoughts made her nervous. She returned to the kitchen and made a cup of tea, taking it to the living room. She sat on the gray plush sofa, placed her tea on the side table, and motioned for Sam and Sophie to join her. They jumped up onto the sofa, each settling into their usual spot, one on either side of her. “So this is it?” she said. She knew they didn’t understand her words, but also knew that they felt her emotions. Sam placed a giant paw on her lap, tilting his head as if in question. Sophie whined, moving even closer to her. She wrapped an arm around each furry neck. “What would I do without you two?”
Two soft grumbles were her answer.
“My two kiddies.” She fluffed them both between the ears. “I say it’s time we called it a night. I’ve got a brand-new book waiting for me.” She finished her tea, then took her mug to the kitchen, washed it with hot soapy water, rinsed it three times, and finally put it upside down on the drainboard. If she allowed herself, she’d rinse the damn cup five times, then still worry that she hadn’t rinsed off all the dish detergent. The beginnings of OCD, something she’d started a few months ago. Katherine could let this go; she knew she could. It was only a damn cup.
