Page 26 of The Art of Deception
I tighten my hand on her cheek. “No, we’re good.”
She relaxes her muscles and gazes upon me, her face glowing like a damn angel. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“What for?”
“For being so understanding… about Levi… about how my life works. Not all men are like you. Most don’t understandat all.” She rolls off me, then snuggles into my side.
I know she’s thinking about ‘Alex’ when she says that.
Goddammit!
“Tomi, there’s nothing to be understanding about. Levi’s a great kid. I couldn’t imagine being here and him not being a part of this.” Everything I say is true. I want to be here, and I want to be a part of their lives. Levi’s a great kid, and Tomi is amazing. I’m just not too sure about what will happen when she finds out or if she’s going to want to keep me around.
She studies our naked bodies with a questioning brow, making me chuckle. “Well, Levi won’t be a part of…this.” Iwave my hand around, making her giggle. “But you know what I mean. He’s a part of you, and I adoreeverypart of you.”
She leans in, pressing her lips to mine softly, then moves back, nuzzling into my side. With Tomi lying in the nook of my arm as we bask in the afterglow, I can’t help but feel like a fraud. Everything about what we did was fucking euphoric. She’s undeniably the most perfect woman I’ve ever met, and yet I’m living this double life with her. She’s resting peacefully unaware that I’m lying to her.
Guilt flows through me in tidal waves of regret.
Ishouldtell her.
Iwantto tell her.
Ineedto tell her.
But I know the second I do, this will be over.
And I’m not ready to give Tomi up.
No matter how this plays out, I’m damn well screwed.
Tomi’s fingers gently stroke up and down my chest. The move should be soothing, but I’m tense as hell as her soft breaths let me know at least one of us is relaxed after our amazing time together.
This is all I’ve wanted since the first time I saw her. She stole a piece of me the second I laid eyes on her, and it’s what makes this all so damn hard. Keeping this secret from her eats away at me, but I’m between a rock and a hard place.
Tomi props up on her elbow, gazing down at me. Her messy blonde hair frames her beautiful face as her lashes blink a couple of times. She’s occupied while she massages my tattooed chest.
I grab her hand, linking our fingers together. “What’s on your mind?”
She licks her lips, letting out a small sigh. Her eyes shift down like she’s ashamed. It’s a look I don’t like on her.
“It’s all good,” she replies, but I can tell straight away something’s weighing on her mind. I’m sure she’s going to talkabout Alex and how much of a scumbag he is and that she’s ashamed for stooping to his level by sending that email. She needs to let this out, so I say again, “What’s on your mind? You can tell me. I’m right here… I’m listening.”
“I told my sister she was selfish.” Her voice is weak, almost broken.
I push her hair behind her ear to comfort her. “We all say things we don’t mean, Tomi.”
“I meant it. She was at college, but she was wasting her time on boys and parties, not concentrating on her grades. She was turning out like me… a damn mess.”
My brows furrow at her words. “The fuck, Tomi? You’re nowhere near a mess.”
She finally glances up at me. “Now. Now… I have to basically be a mom.I’mthe responsible one.” My palm on her face tightens, and she nuzzles into it. “Before all… this… my parents said getting me my own tattoo studio would teach me how to be responsible. Would show me what it’s like to grow up, to stop my partying and staying out till the stupid hours of the morning.” She weakly smiles like she’s reliving a memory. “It started to work. Running my own business meant I had to pull my shit together. I had employees to take care of. It settled me down. I wasn’t quite there, but I was on my way.”
Her body tenses, her bottom lip quivers with the obvious memory flashing through her mind. “Kaylie looked up to me. Her big sister, the tattoo artist, owning her own studio. But I still had a party animal in me, and Kaylie wanted to be me…” She pauses like she’s having trouble saying the next part but finally continues, “She called drunk off her face, but bad drunk, the type where her drink had been spiked. She only went to that damn party because of the fight we’d had where I told her she was selfish. The problem was my parents had to go get her because big sis couldn’t come to the rescue… her stupid ass was drunk aswell.”
My stomach falls through the floor as I watch Tomi’s eyes mist up, reliving the memory. I tighten my hand on her cheek, turning her to me. “Tomi, you’re not that girl anymore. You can’t carry this weight with you. Your parents having a car accident with Kaylie in the car isnotyour fault. You weren’t responsible for the actions of the other driver.”
Her entire body shudders as a warm tear slides down her face. “No, but if it weren’t for me, Kaylie wouldn’t have been drunk in the first place. They wouldn’t have evenbeenin the car, and that damn truck would have never…” she trails off.
