Page 57 of Espresso Your Love
“Thank you for telling me.” My voice comes out deeper than I anticipated.
“Thank you for being excited.” She pulls away and walks backwards towards her house.
17
Cassie
As the candle’s wick catches fire, the smell of amber and vanilla spreads through the room. It’s the first time I’ve lit the candle I made at the festival, and it unmistakably smells like Ryan.
For now, I bask in this fluffy cloud of hope until we talk. Thatwasmy plan, but then I got roped into family dinner. More like my sass got me roped into dinner. But his mom and sister were so incredibly sweet, and I can see where Ryan gets his kindness and warmth from. I thought maybe he got some sort of training from work. Learning how to make people feel comfortable around him to get them to confess or something. But it’s just the way he is.
I want him, but he’s been sending mixed signals. One minute, he seems like he wants something more. There was that almost kiss, and us running through the hay maze together was straight out of a movie. And yet the next minute, he’s distant. Did I upset him at the festival? It’s evident in his body language and his words that something is wrong. But when I told him aboutgetting the Mercer wedding, there was that spark between us again.
I collapse onto my bed, thoughts swirling around in my head.
Do I like him? Yes.
Do I want more than friends? Absolutely, yes.
Which would make me his girlfriend?Ryan’s girlfriend.
I can get used to that. But before I start doodling Cassie Hayes again, something is going on with him. Which scares me.
He’s been reserved, and I just wish he would open up to me about it. What if he doesn’t want more and he doesn’t know how to tell me? Maybe I’m too much for him? Or not enough for him.
And what if he does? I’ve never been in a real relationship; I’ve never even been kissed. How do I move forward knowing that hurt is possible? I could walk out of this relationship with a broken heart.
Hi, I’m Cassie, and welcome to my overthinking party.
I walk to the kitchen to grab a container of cupcakes and walk back into my room. The amber scent hits me again, and I groan as I slump down into my bed.
The meeting went smoothly today, better than I could have asked for. The bride was the cutest baker and the groom reminded me of Ryan, a strong exterior but sweet on the inside. The bride brought me cupcakes, and they rival the Sweet Sisters Bakery; they are so delicious. But I won’t tell Hope or Charity.
I already ate one on the plane home—did I mention it was a private plane? Yep. Private plane. I always try to think the best of people and not judge. But when the limo drove onto the tarmac up to a private plane, I began to prepare myself for a veryspecifictype of bride. One who wore fur coats and demanded caviar at brunch.
But instead, I was completely taken aback. She was down-to-earth and funny, and the way she talked about her husband-to-be…it was adorable. Love radiated from every word she spoke about him.
I take another bite of the cupcake, the sweet buttercream frosting melting on my tongue.
The groom-to-be was charismatic. The way he looked at his soon-to-be bride…one word: swoon. I want someone to look at me like that. Like I’m his whole world. Like he wants to spend every moment with me. Someone who pushes me to be my best self. Someone who supports and believes in me.
And I desperately want that to be Ryan.
I’ve gone from a fluffy cloud of hope to an overthinking party and landed in a pit of longing.
I have the skills to plan the most romantic day of your life yet when it comes to my own emotions, I’m a ship lost at sea.
I finish off the cupcake in two bites and savor the chocolatey goodness. Tomorrow is a fresh, new day, and I have to meet the Hayes women at Coffee Loft. I’ll need all the rest I can get to harbor my feelings.
As much as I want to skip my run this morning, I can’t. Not after taking a rest day and an easy day. The marathon is in less than a month, and I need to keep pushing for a better time.
So, with a sigh, I trade the comfort of my bed for leggings and running shoes. I always feel good after, but the before is pure torture. Running helps shut off my overthinking brain and gets me to focus on things besides work and Ryan.
After an invigorating run and shaving fifteen seconds off my best time, I get ready and walk to Coffee Loft. After meeting withMargie and Sadie, I’ll sneak up to my office (aka the loft couch) and get some work done.
The bell of the door clatters as I walk in, the smell of brewing coffee and baked goods filling my senses. Ash is upfront taking an order. She flashes me her bright smile and waves. I return her wave as I join the end of the line. I scan the room to see if I spot Margie and Sadie. It’s a little busier than usual for a Monday, but it looks like I beat them here.
I glance at the door every few seconds, waiting for them to walk in. Ms. Patterson totters in, her gnome canvas bag hanging off her walker.
