Page 2 of Red King
She sort of smiles. I can see that she still isn’t sure.
I’m ashamed to say that jealousy lashes at me but I push the emotion aside. “I mean it, it’s wonderful. So exciting for you…for you guys. How far along are you?” I smile.
“Thirty-three weeks already, and I’m loving being pregnant.” She smiles back.
Of course you do.
Nope! Not doing that.
“That’s wonderful. Is it a boy or a girl? Do you know?”
“A little boy.” She rubs her stomach lovingly. “Jim is beside himself…um…with…”
“It’s fine, Lexi…you can say it. Jim and I divorced two years ago. I’m getting on with my life.” I shrug like it’s no biggie. Like my heart wasn’t ripped out of my chest.
“Oh!” Her eyes brighten up. “Are you seeing someone?” She looks at me with such expectation that the lie just rolls off my tongue.
“Yes.” It’s more to make her feel better because it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better.
It has the right effect. “That’s so great,” Lexi gushes. “I’m so glad to hear it. Jim will be happy for you, too; I just know it. He still feels bad for…”
“Let’s leave the past in the past. I’m good now.” I snort-laugh, sounding like I don’t have a care in the world. “It’s done.” I wave a hand. “You two are together and expecting a son. I wish you all the best. You’re going to make such a great mom.”
“Thanks, Pais.” She calls me by the shortened version of my name that Jim liked to call me by. I never liked it. I want to correct her, but I don’t. I want this conversation over already.
It’s been a long day. Twelve-hour shifts can be grueling. My feet and my back are killing me. Not to mention how all those painful memories of Jim asking me for a divorce are all coming to the surface. Every last one of them.
I was devastated. I think that in some ways I still am. That and angry. Why couldn’t he love me for better or worse? I push away all the memories accosting me, because it won’t serve me or change anything.
“What’s his name?” Lexi asks, her brows lifted high.
I frown. “Who’s name?”
She frowns. “Your boyfriend, Pais. What is his name and what does he do? Tell me about him.” Then she smiles, looking unsure; her big eyes are focused on me. She chews on her lip.
“Oh.” I giggle. “Of course. Sorry, it’s been a long day. My brain is mush at this point. Um…his name is…” Crap! I need to think quick. For whatever reason, I’ve hit a blank. “It’s um…it’s…Reese. His name is Reese.”
Thankfully, I came up with something.
“And um…he’s an accountant at a big firm. It’s still new…our relationship, that is,” I add. “But I think it might go places.”
“Oooooh.” Lexi bobs her brows. “Still super exciting. I’m so happy for you.” I know she means it. So damned sweet. I’m not sure what she sees in a guy like Jim.
Actually, I do. He’s a big-shot neurologist. Jim jogs every morning without fail, even when on vacation. He lifts weights three times a week and is easy to talk to…to be with.
I hate him.
I hate him with every fiber of my being.
He crushed me. Destroyed me. Broke me.
Lexi narrows her eyes. I haven’t responded. Her smile falters.
“I’m happy for me, too. I almost can’t believe it’s real,” I whisper. Maybe because it isn’t real at all. I really do need to get on with my life. I haven’t so much as dated since the divorce. My vagina has forgotten what sex is. I will never trust a man again, but I do want to have sex again at some point. I miss it.
“Itisreal, Pais, and you deserve it,” Lexi says.
I nod like my neck suddenly became a spring. “With that in mind, I need to get going…he’s coming over for dinner.” I look at my watch. “Crap! He’ll be at my door soon. I need to grab the last few things.” I look down at my sparse shopping for one. “A lot of things,” I add as I start to push my cart. “It was so lovely to see you, Lexi, and congratulations again on the baby. I wish you everything of the best.”
