Page 14 of Gabe's Obsession
"I can tell you want to ask me something. So ask. If I have the answer, I will tell you. I keep talking about trust between us and that goes both ways. So ask the burning questions while you can. I may not always be this accommodating."
She hesitated, licking her lips. There were always questions, but that didn't means she wanted to hear the answers. Especially if she didn't like them.
"Scared?" he asked.
A little. But she wasn't about to admit that.
"I should ask you why you're so stubborn, but that would be a waste of a perfectly good question."
He laughed. "Probably for the same reasons you are."
She huffed out air, narrowing her eyes. Every time he called her stubborn her defenses automatically raised. That question definitely wouldn't get them anywhere.
"That's not what I wanted to know anyway."
He rubbed his thumb along her jawline, eliciting a tingle of excitement shuddering across her skin.
"I know it isn't, Angel. So ask the question you really want the answer to."
She started to argue and once again point out how infuriating he could be, but she stopped herself. They were going to get exactly nowhere if she couldn't be honest.
"Why BDSM? Why do you have to have that in your life? And why are you so sure it will help me?"
He didn't answer right away. Instead, he ran his finger along the seam of her lips until she parted them on a sigh.
"You ask that like you think there should be a simple cut and dry answer."
"It does seem straightforward. I mean a little kink here and there I get. It can be the spice of life or whatever. I've seen enough of it to at least get that part. But that's not what I've heard about you. Or Mason, or Tucker, or even Levi." She looked up at him. "But please don't elaborate on my brothers because I don't need any more pictures of them in my brain. I'd like to be able to maintain my friendships with Maggie, Tori and Rebecca without imagining them doing something weird for my brothers."
Gabe laughed, the rich deep sound filling the room. "Oh, Nina." He gently grasped her arms and pulled her against him. "You have so much to learn. The fact you still think it's weird tells me so much more than words."
She resisted his hold because not doing so made her brains scramble. "No, that's not true. I've been to Purgatory. I've heard Maggie and Tori talk. Tori even told me about her former job as a pro Domme in your club. I think I've got a pretty good grasp on how kink works."
His smile faded away, making her sad to see it go. "Maybe you do understand the mechanics of kink, but you clearly don't understand the underlying emotional aspect of it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked me. Now hold on before you get all resistant again. Don't take that as a criticism because it's not how it was meant. You don't learn about what makes a man or a woman tick by osmosis or observation. It takes experience to truly understand. Until you've walked in the shoes, you can't know why even your best friend can't live without it from the Dom she loves. And even once you experience it and think you get it, that won't apply to everyone. We're all human. And we're complicated. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another."
She blinked when he finally took a breath, letting his words sink in. "Are you trying to tell me that I'm never going to understand why you need it in your life? That sounds like a convenient way to not answer the question."
He shook his head, his lips compressing in a thin line. "I didn't say that at all. My only point is that we'd be better served if I showed you."
Nina tried to take a step back, but Gabe held her still. "No, Angel. You asked the question. You opened the door. Let me show you."
She shook her head. "You're right. I am afraid."
"Tell me exactly what you are afraid of. Is it that you think I will hurt you or that I want to?"
She shrugged.
"I think you know better than that. While there can be pain involved most of the time, it is either for your own good or for pleasure. A lot of pleasure, I might add.”
She could feel her heartbeat growing frantic as panic welled inside her at the thought of what kind of pleasure Gabe wanted to give. "What do you mean for my own good?" She gasped, unable to hide the anxiety filling her.
Gabe shook his head at the same time he lifted his hand to stroke her cheek. "Easy. We're just talking. I am not going to force you to do anything you don't want. But I wasn't kidding when I told you that I think it could help. For one, you're wound too tight. All this tension and stress you're feeling is never going to allow you to access old memories you've been hiding for years."
"I'm not hiding them. I can't help it. Do you honestly think I haven't tried?"
"Not at all. More than likely, your brain is protecting you. Whatever happened that night had to be painful. Probably more so than any one person should have to endure. Personally, I wish you could leave it alone and let it stay in the past where it belongs.”
She pushed at his chest, still not budging him. "I've already done that for too long. I've been selfish enough. If something in my memory can help Savannah, then I owe that to my brother."
