Page 45 of Axton
There were Christmas lights everywhere. We hadn’t been gone for a week and there was more than when we left. How much did that cost us? Not only did Creeds Lake pay for it, it took the maintenance team and the prospects away from doing the real work we needed done. Time was money and we had mouths to feed. “Is that? That better not be what I think it is.” I growled.
“Loosen up, Axton. It’s just a horse and carriage. I think it’s sweet. I’m going to have Darren take me on a Christmas carriage ride.” Bolton was just as ridiculous as Creed. They were both guilty of enabling Morgan.
“How much is that costing us? Wait! Whose horse and carriage is that?” I watched as it passed by us. “That was Old Man Jeffries! Who gave him clearance?” Son of a bitch! “What’s next? Fake snow here too?”
“That sounds like fun! They could bring one of those machines from the ski slopes!” Bolton was fucking with me. “We have to get some snow mobiles!”
I ignored her and we finally made it to the Community Center. I couldn’t believe how cold it was, and there were people walking around everywhere. I saw them drinking hot chocolate by theice rink, older kids were walking in groups, fucking Santa was at the gazebo letting kids sit on his lap for pictures. If only those parents knew where that Santa suit had been. We stepped out of the motor home and the speakers were loudly playing Christmas music. “What the hell happened when we were gone?”
“It’s called Christmas Spirit, Axton. You should really get some.” Bolton needed to let up.
“I need a beer.” I opened the back door of the motorhome and looked up to see a big pair of blue eyes looking down at me. Suddenly, all my frustrations lifted off me. Wow! I held my hand out for Belle, and when she stepped out she scanned everything around her.
“Everyone is smiling.” She was amazed, and then I realized something. She never saw a celebration. Never gathered with friends for a laugh. Was never held by anyone that just wanted to hold her because it made them happy. As I looked at her, I wondered if anyone ever told her that they loved her and she might have been beautiful on the outside, but she had a glow about her that shined from the beauty inside her. When a huge smile formed on her face, it formed on mine, and I couldn’t stop taking in every aspect of that beautiful face.
Bolton spoke up, and when I looked at her, she had wet eyes, like she was holding back tears. “That’s because they know there is no sin in happiness. They’re free to celebrate the life of Christ in their own ways, and there is no threat of damnation in enjoying those they love and doing the things that make them happy. Don’t look at today as a way of survival. Look at today as the day God told you that it’s okay to live and enjoy life. There is no script, no prophecies, and you are free to love and accept everyone God puts in your path. Many of these people experienced the worst things about this world and they aresurvivors. All of these people will go to heaven someday and reunite with the ones they love. They don’t have to search for God's love. They feel it when they laugh, when they look at the people they love, in every child’s laughter, and sometimes even when they have to say goodbye.” Bolton sounded like a cheesy Christmas card, but I liked what her words did for Belle.
Belle reached up and wiped a tear away. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into me and hold her. I knew she was thinking about her parents, and it just about gutted me. She turned her head and looked at Bolton. “This looks a lot like heaven.”
“Creed’s Lake is like that for a lot of us.” Bolton squeezed her in for a side hug. “Let’s go make you an official resident of this community.”
Twenty minutes later, I was drinking a beer in Club X, which hadn’t turned over to the after dark club yet. Koty and Belle were meeting with Jennings’s wife, Heidi, who was filling in for Steph while she was visiting with family in Maine. With a beer in hand, I stood in front of a Christmas tree with my eyes focused in on a star ornament. It took me back many years.
Seventeen years ago…
I had blindfolds on Natalie and Kayla as we stood in front of it. “You can take them off now.”
Both girls reached up and took the handkerchiefs off, and my heart swelled ten times larger as the lights twinkled in their eyes. They were so amazed they couldn’t speak for a moment.
Natalie’s eyes filled with tears and Kayla raced over to the first Christmas tree she could probably remember.
“How?” Natalie tried to hold back her tears.
“It’s not a big deal, I had a little extra cash this month.” It was a lie, I barely made the bills, then I busted my ass because I found an opportunity at the last minute and jumped on it. They would never know I climbed a pine tree and cut off the top then drug it inside. They’d never know that I wasn’t in my bed a few nights and I snuck out. They’d never know that I rode my bicycle in the middle of December and the middle of the night to the landfill. They’d never know a guy paid me to climb inside several garbage trucks in the middle of the night to scrub the insides down and puked more than once. They’d never know I rode my bike back and got home two hours before it was time to get myself and Kayla ready for school. All of that was behind me and I couldn’t wait to see them open their gifts. I knew all that hard work was going to be worth it, and I was just about to receive the greatest gift ever.
It was five in the morning on Christmas day, and I was too excited to see their faces when they saw it. I had to wake them up. Her family was all passed out drunk, so I walked right in and woke Natalie up, then went back home and woke Kayla up.
Kayla was on the floor shaking presents with the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen. “There’s presents here for you too, Natalie!” Kayla’s excitement made every night I puked my guts out working inside those garbage trucks worth it.
“Go ahead and start opening them.” I prompted.
My heart raced as Kayla had wide eyes and a huge smile while she opened each gift. She opened the hair ties first, then the bracelets, a shirt, snow boots and a new coat, then last but not least, a new Barbie.
Natalie opened her hair ties, bracelets, new coat and last was the necklace. She set it all down then jumped up and raced into my arms. “Thank you, Mikey! It’s the best Christmas ever!” Shehugged on to me as she cried. I buried my face in her neck and cried because I just saw tears in my sister’s eyes when she realized all the gifts were open and there was none left for me. Kayla likely didn’t realize that I had already received my gift, and it was in her smile and the way her eyes lit up with joy.
All my mom did for Christmas that year, was get arrested on Christmas Eve. She got the car my grandpa gave her when Kayla was born impounded because she was driving under the influence again.
“I love you so much, Mikey.” Natalie cried. We had one thing in common during Christmas. Neither one of us had parents that gave enough of a shit to at least go to the Salvation Army to get us gifts. I couldn’t do it. If I did, they would have tipped off child protection services and I’d be separated from Kayla. All my mom ever did for me during that Christmas was fuck me over. We would never have enough money to get that car out of impound, and we sure as hell didn’t have the money to bail mom out. The even sadder part was that she had our food stamp card on her and at the first of the month we wouldn’t have any food left. I was only fourteen and I already knew she was going to have to do some time. It wasn’t her first offense, but it was her third. I didn’t have the heart to take back the gifts and the ham I bought for Christmas dinner. The night shift job was only temporary, so I’d have to find someone willing to pay me under the table because a fourteen-year-old couldn’t legally work at night. I was going to need another night shift job. I already knew the electric bill was going to be high because it was so cold outside, and the electric was our only source of heat.
“I have one more thing for you.” We let go of each other and I glanced at Kayla. She was playing with her new Barbie with a huge smile on her face. I walked behind the old broken sofaand grabbed one big gift then walked it over to Natalie. “It’s not much, but it’s for the little ones. It’s just generic Legos and they will have to share, but it’s at least something for them to open.” It was a pretty big box, and I didn’t want to leave it under the tree because it may have disappointed Kayla because it wasn’t for her.
She knocked the box out of my hands when she jumped back into my arms and began peppering kisses all over my cheeks and forehead. “You’re the sweetest and best friend ever!”
There it was best friend. I knew I would always just be her best friend, she didn’t love me the way I loved her. I loved her as much as I loved Kayla, but just in a different way. Natalie gave me hopes and dreams, which gave me the motivation and courage I needed to do better and work hard to get all three of us off that mountain. To take them somewhere we could have had better lives.
“I have a ham to cook, want to help?” I asked when she finally let go of me.
“Yes! Then we can go tell the little ones that Santa came! This is why I love you, Mikey. Thank you!” She kissed my cheek again then took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen.
