Page 25 of Broken By It
“Are you hard, Dillon?” I tease, but truly want to know.
“Baby,” he starts, but I can’t stay quiet.
“Your hands, those working man hands, all over me. Working me in and out,” I pant as I pick up the pace fingering myself. I pull out to rub circles on my clit, and then back inside. “Your body over mine, under mine, behind me, and any other way you want to take me. Imagine it, Dillon. Your dick coated in my juicy desire, sliding in and out.”
“Maritza,” he whispers as I come crying out his name into the phone.
As I slow my pace allowing the aftershocks to flex around my fingers, I mew quietly.
“Thank you, Dillon. At least for this one moment, I can share an orgasm with the man who has my heart and doesn’t even know it.”
“Maritza,” he says again, but I cut him off.
“It’s okay. I will love you for a lifetime Dillon Jacoby even if I can’t have you.”
Feeling satisfied and tired, I whisper, “goodnight, Dillon. Sweetest dreams.”
I click the phone off not allowing him to reply as I tenderly curl into my bed allowing the sheets to rest onto my sensitive flesh.
I don’t want to think about how I have to see him in the morning. I don’t want to think about the way I drunk dialed him and spilled my secrets. I don’t want to think about the level of vulnerability in allowing someone to hear me cum. All of these things are bound to come up tomorrow. But that’ isn’t a me problem for now.
Nope, for now, he called me baby, he said my name, and I came harder than I have in my entire life.
TEN
DILLON
PRESENT DAY FROM BRAVE AS IT
There issomething to be said for the experience of your twenties. I didn’t have the traditional wild season or free years. The window of time before the responsibilities of adulthood close in, I ignored it. Those formative years from eighteen to twenty-five are a horizon where mistakes happen but growth comes from all of it. I joined the Marines right out of high school and got married. Before that, I spent my teen years in high school completely hooked on all things Anna. From there, I took on every serious adult task, culpability, and duty right out of high school. Looking back on it, well, it’s sort of crazy. Why did I rush?
Not only did I desperately chase this illusion of building a family, but I also went right to battle. I’m trained and built to be a weapon to protect my country. I did so proudly. If I could go back in the Marines, I would in a heartbeat, but I have reached the age limit for re-enlistment. Make no mistake, I will never back down from protecting my family, my friends, my flag, my freedoms, and find pride in doing so. I went from a boy into a man during my time in service in ways I never imagined. However, I went to war before I could even legally obtain a damn beer.
In some ways, it made me stronger. Drinking doesn’t have the appeal I think it would have if things had worked out any other way. Having responsibilities to provide for Anna, not wanting to risk my military career, I never found this heavy desire to drink. As a Hellion, we have parties and I drink casually, but it isn’t something I regularly do. Sometimes, I cut lose though, don’t get it twisted. And tonight might be one of those times.
Tonight is a clubhouse party. I enjoy the freedom with my brothers. There is no transport, no business, nothing but a good time awaits. It’s Anna’s weekend with Hollis only encouraging me to let go even more. I don’t have anything else going on. A beer or two with my brothers sounds like a nice way to close out a long week.
Honestly, I never thought Anna and I would get to this place. Divorce is a process involving a lot of emotions. I have felt every one of them to my soul. In the beginning, I planned to go for full custody. Maritza talked me off that ledge. While I didn’t agree, I saw her point in not being the one to put Hollis is a position to build up walls with either of us. Share time as equally as we can, keeping his safety first, but allowing his mother as much time as she wants with him as long as she allows me the same respect not to keep him from me; this is our agreement about our son.
While far from perfect, we have an arrangement. I pay the mortgage, utilities, and give her child support. I buy all of Hollis’ clothes, pay for his sports, school fees, and anything he needs. She lives a comfortable life with what I pay and what she earns at her job. We split time with him as evenly as possible. Most weeknights he stays with her so that his school schedule remains structured. Now that he’s older, on weekends, I let him choose. Sometimes, he wants to stay with her because he has a friend over or he goes to a friend’s house. Most weekends, though, he's with me. I still see him almost daily since Maritza picks him upfrom school and brings him back to the office with her when he asks, which is most of the time. At first, Anna brought him home, but as he gets older, we have chosen to give him the freedom to decide where he wants to be as much as possible. Structure is still important, so we try to maintain it, at least where he sleeps which nights. Some days he chills with Maritza, doing homework or hanging out with her, and other days, he joins me and the guys in the garage to learn about cars.
We have this unique system that honest to God seems absurd. But it works. Hollis is happy, he’s thriving, and for everyone involved that is what matters.
I didn’t give Anna the contract marriage she wants and occasionally still asks me for. Even with the ink long dried on our divorce, she still finds random times to ask for a second chance with a contract marriage. Why would she want to be remarried when it clearly didn’t work the first time? I put it all in writing. She doesn’t need a marriage certificate to hold onto the things I’ve given her.
No matter how she asks or what she proposes, it’s never going to happen. Instead, we have a very detailed divorce agreement that keeps her in a lifestyle better than she had in our early marriage and I have my freedom from her downward spiral. Honestly, once things were completely finalized and I moved out, she actually has stepped up here and there to be a mom. She is more involved with Hollis not having me around than ever before. I don’t know why or how to explain it, but I’m not complaining.
Sure, I have to be very specific with her because she’s still flighty at best. She can’t always be counted on to pick him up from practices, activities, or even the regular school day. Maritza and I always try to plan to be there on the off chance she doesn’t show up. As time goes on, it happens less and less. We do give her the freedom to be the one picking him up, but Hollis knowsto call us if she doesn’t. When Anna is present, now though, she is involved with our son like she wasn’t before. Life co-parenting with Anna is a rollercoaster. Some days we are up and other days we are flying down rapidly rushing into a curve or flying upside down. I don’t enjoy the ride, but I can endure it for my son’s happiness.
When things were up in the air between us, I would have rushed home to sleep in my truck in the yard. Being in the same space as her tested my patience too much, but I couldn’t be away from my son and feel okay. She had me tied down even when our relationship had long ended. Now, I know Hollis is mostly safe and he also has a phone to reach out if he needs me. This gives me the freedom to enjoy myself.
The clubhouse is packed as hard rock plays on the speakers and two prospects with a couple of the ol’ ladies work on drinks behind the bar. It’s just a regular Friday night at the clubhouse.
Everyone is dancing, drinking, playing pool, darts, or just hanging out.
Wesson “Busted” Vaughn is stationed beside the end of the bar in his wheelchair watching everyone around him. This is what he does frequently. Tuck away somewhere and observe. Don’t let the chair cause any doubts, Wesson is a badass. Before his accident, he was an elite Army Paratrooper. When he was what they call able bodied, the man was an adrenaline junky chasing adventure and thrill. Don’t think everything changes even with amputation. He is fearless even now with the loss of his legs.
Honestly, I look up to the brother. He’s always keeping shit positive when he could easily drown in the negative of his circumstances. If I was half the man he is, my demons wouldn’t have the hold on me they still do.
