Page 68 of Lodged

I wouldn’t start calling my neighbor, Susan, a different name just because I skinned my knee. I was almost certain that she’d fallen and hit her head while I was gone.

“Don’t you apologize to me. This is his fault, I can see the marks,” Angel’s voice was low and made me feel sleepy just listening to it, but his eyes didn’t match. His eyes looked angry, like my old man’s when Ma and I messed up.

Instead of swinging his fists, Angel brushed Ma’s long hair back off her face and continued rocking her while she cried. He looked up and caught my eye. I backed away, knowing I was going to be in trouble for breaking the rules.

“Jamie, can you help me?” he asked instead, and I nodded immediately. “Good. Look in the suitcase and see if there’s a gown for your mother.”

I scurried over to the luggage and dug through it until I found a nightie with a ruffled neckline. It was periwinkle, her favorite color. I handed it off to Angel, and he began unzipping the bloody skirt, gently tugging it down her legs, so he didn’t hurt her. Her eyes stayed closed, and I decided that she’d fallen asleep again.

I looked away when I realized that she wasn’t decent and waited for him to tell me what to do next.

“Okay, Jamie. I’m going to carry her to the bed, but I want you to run a bath for me, okay?” Angel had placed the nightie on the edge of the sink and had wrapped Ma up in a towel. He lifted her up into his arms and stepped through the mess.

When I stared down at the blood for too long, he spoke up again. “It’s alright, Jamie. She’s going to be okay; I swear to you.”

I nodded shakily and stepped into the bathroom. The smell clung to the inside of my nose and I had to breathe through my mouth when the room began to spin. I sank down onto the side of the tub and plugged the drain, doing my best not to see the product of my old man’s anger.

Once it filled, Angel lifted Ma off the bed and carried her to the bathtub, giving me strict instructions to get more towels and bleach from the front office, before closing the bathroom door behind him.

I scrambled to do as he asked and returned with full arms minutes later. When he didn’t come out to meet me, I cracked the bathroom door open, instantly feeling like an intruder.

Angel knelt beside the tub, keeping one arm wrapped around my mother’s back as he washed her hair with the other. She was awake and sobbing again, but he just kept working the shampoo into her hair while whispering about how strong he thought she was.

They didn’t notice me, and I stayed crouched outside the door, watching a biker bathe my mama like she was a small child. He rinsed her hair and wrung it dry with his hands before lathering up his hands with a bar of soap and rubbing it onto her skin.

He’d pause and rub her back when the pain came, making her fold over and cry harder, before gently cleaning her skin again.

Angel’s hand carefully moved across her bruises before coming to rest on her stomach. She opened her eyes to look up at him. “I’m sorry,” she said again, and I frowned.

She had nothing to be sorry over.

Angel shook his head and warned, “Don’t.”

Ma reached down and gripped his hand before the pain came again, changing the water from pink to red. It wasn’t until it passed, and Angel helped her stand that I realized her stomach was different than I remembered it.

She’d always been thin, but now she was rounder, like our neighbor, Mrs. Moss, was before she had baby Emily. She’d worn long flowing dresses to hide it, but I’d noticed it one day when she was out sweeping her front porch. Ma looked the same.

I turned away and went to sit on the bed again. It didn’t feel right to see my mother like that, but I hadn’t wanted to leave her when she was hurting.

I just needed to make sure she was going to be okay.

The bathroom door opened wide a few minutes later and Angel carried her out. She was in her nightie and starting to doze off again when he laid her on the bed next to me. He placed one of the towels I’d gotten from the office underneath her body before turning to me.

“Gonna run out and grab some supplies. You watch her and don’t open that door for no one but me. I’ll knock three times.” I nodded, and he paused to squeeze my shoulder. “You did the right thing, Jamie. I’m proud of you.”

I nodded and quietly replied, “Thank you, sir,” but I was bursting with pride on the inside. For the first time all night, I didn’t feel helpless.

I lay down next to Ma and took her hand in mine. Her eyes were swollen and splotchy from crying, but she squeezed my fingers in hers and gave me a small smile. “You’re my man, Jamie.”

I fell asleep with my hand held tightly in hers until Angel rapped on the door. He carried in a brown paper bag and gestured toward a man in the doorway. “This is our club doctor. He’s just gonna look your ma over.”

I stood outside the door, shivering from the cold and the doctor’s words.

Spontaneous abortion.

I didn’t know what it meant, but Angel immediately sent me with the doctor while he drove Ma to the hospital. If she was having to go in there, then it was worse than I thought.

Instead of taking me home, the doctor drove me to Wolverine’s house and Lucy met us outside. She’d wrapped me up in a big hug before making me a bed on the sleeper sofa.