Page 99 of A Love Like Venom

I was always one to hold onto hope. Believe in dreams and wish upon the stars. In my dreams he would come back. He would come back and be the man that I remembered. One who was kind. One who cared. One who would protect me.

That’s what it was. Only a dream. Because the man who returned was notmyReed Carter.

No, the man who returned was Snake. A man who hated me with a fiery passion. One who didn’t care about me. One who showed no kindness.

Reed Carter was the last person to break my heart.

Snake was the first to shatter my soul.

And I don’t know how we can get past that.

I heard his side of the story earlier tonight. I talked to Grace hoping to gain insight.

The world isn’t so black and white, that’s what she told me.

If the world isn’t so black and white and if there is no definitive right and wrong where does that leave him and I?

Where do we go from here?

Because now he’s come back to protect me. To shield me from the horrors of The Crowned Devils MC. To protect me from the monster of a man that is Razor.

He’s apologized for what he’s done. Profusely apologizing and expecting nothing in return.

There’s a glimpse I’m seeing of the man before, the man I knew.

Snake would never want to make amends. Snake wouldn’t want to breathe the same air as me.

But Reed Carter, he would burn down the entire world making sure a flame would never touch me in order to protect me.

Seeing him again tonight I can see the man I dreamed of returning.

The only question is, is he here to stay or is this just a sick cruel game?

“We used to find solace in one another. Now we are bracing ourselves.” I voice sadly, my heart aching.

He swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobbling. “That’s my fault.” His voice is thick. The sound unnatural coming from him.

When he and I used to talk we were never uncomfortable around each other. There’s tension that hangs heavy in the air. Tension that shouldn’t be here.

“So you say but what if you aren’t the only person to blame?” I question softly.

He gives me a perplexed look. “None of this was your doing, Alice. Every single part of it was mine.” Deep down in his soul I know that he believes that.

I did, too.

I would be lying if I said there was a point in my life where I didn’t hate Reed Carter because I did.

I hated him for leaving me.

I hated him for turning into a man who I hardly recognized.

I hated him, even though I never wanted to admit it, a small part of me hated him when he chose Caitlin over me.

As much as I have hated him, I still loved him.

And seeing everything now, knowing what I do, I can’t entirely lay the blame on him.

Perhaps Grace is right. The world is not black and white. No definitive right or wrong.