Page 128 of A Love Like Venom

But if he really is going after Razor I can’t imagine the consequences. He’ll want Reed’s blood. And the thought of Reed hurt causes a flare in my heart.

Why can’t I just hate him and wish for him to be dead?

Why can’t my feelings be that simple?

And to make matters worse he’s still here with his friend even after I said please.Asshole.I swear he’s still here just to unnerve me.

Fingers snap in front of my face. Grace’s face is twisted with concern as she pins me with a wide worried gaze.

I'm about to open my mouth and assure her that I'm fine when she warns, "And don't lie to me. This is the second time you've looked crushed after talking to him."

My mouth snaps shut. Grace has always kept a keen eye on me after knowing of Razor's intentions. She also managed to get her schedule synced with mine in case anything happens. I truly do appreciate that. It's nice to know that someone cares. That there are still good people left in this cruel world.

"I used to know him but now I don't recognize him at all." I can't hide the pain in my voice. Nor the anger. I just miss the man he used to be. The one who was my best friend. The only boy I’ve ever loved..

God I’m fucking pathetic.

It's harder missing someone when they are still alive.

Her delicate hands move from my shoulders to hold both of my hands firmly in hers. She gives them a reassuring squeeze. "Who was he to you?" Softly she pries.

"He was everything." The confession slips through my lips in a whisper.

"Were you the same to him?"

I can't look her in the eye. I don't want her to see just how much he affects me. "Once upon a time I had thought so." Then was I ever really? If I was everything to him like he was to methen he would have never gone to Caitlin. She would never have been able to lure him in. If I was everything to him, he wouldn't have been able to walk away so easily.

Maybe this version of him, Snake, maybe this is his true face.

He never truly cared for me after all. He's just like my mother and sister. Maybe that's why it wasn't difficult for Caitlin to lure him in.

Except I don't want to believe that.

I don't want to believe the best part of my tragic filled childhood was a lie.

It can't be.

"Listen, I can get you out of here. When The Crowned Devils come back, I'll lie and say you became ill at work. You can leave before Razor has the chance to see you. Or you can hide out back here until they leave. Whatever the decision I have your back, Alice. I'm in your corner, always." She promises me and my battered heart chooses to believe her.

And as much as I would love to take her up on either of those options, I know that I can't. One, I don't want Grace to face against The Crowned Devils by herself. I would hate myself if something terrible happened to her for covering me. Second, I can't let Snake win. He wants to see me upset. I need to show him that I will not allow him to break me.

Hollows Point has done some cruel things to me but one thing it did do was make me strong.

Through all the heartbreak and pain I've suffered I fought like hell to rise above it.

This will be no different.

I need to stop looking for Reed Carter and come to terms with the fact that the man I loved and adored is dead. With that so is every memory I cherished with him.

Giving her a small smile that doesn't touch my eyes I tell her, "Thank you but I think the best thing is for me to go back out there."

She looks at me as if I've grown two heads. "Are you sure? Alice, I'm serious, I can handle it for you."

"I know and I love you for it, I really do. But I have to show him I'm stronger than he thinks I am. I have to show that to everyone."

A sympathetic smile crosses her face. "You don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"I'm proving it to myself, Grace."