Page 96 of Guarded

"I feel safe here with Jason."

"I understand that, but spending so much time with him is bringing your feelings for him out in the open."

"You think?"

"I know, baby. I can see it whenever he talks or moves—your eyes follow him with a hunger that rivals the one I had for your father when he was courting me."

"He and I need to have a talk, but it's not easy. Sometimes, I see a glimpse of interest for me, but then it vanishes as if it was all in my imagination. Will you accept him as a prospective son-in-law?" I blush at the thought, but I just like saying it.

"I can't make any promises. I have to talk to your father. By the way, I'm staying here tonight."

"What!?"

"Yes, whatever you had planned for tonight is not happening."

I hadn't really planned anything. I just wanted to spend some time with Jason and maybe go into the whole 'us' topic. But I definitely can't do it with my mother here. My mother gives me a sympathetic look and I turn on the TV to watch whatever can distract me from the mess that is my life right now.

I'm trapped in what must be a nightmare because all I feel is this horrible pain. I feel every kick that Marcos gave me, as if I was living it all over again. I wake up screaming, and the door is practically torn off its hinges as Jason and Carlos come to 'rescue' me. My mother is next to me, trying to get me to calm down, and Jason comes to my side of the bed and puts his arms around me. That's the only thing that gets me to calm down, knowing he's here with me.

My mother goes to the kitchen, and I guess she's going to make me some soothing tea. She carries all sorts of baggies in her purse for emergency purposes. I guess this counts as one. Once the tea is done, I drink it, sipping slowly, letting the warmth of the liquid soothe my throat. Jason stays with me for about an hour, but when he sees my eyelids start to droop, he takes the cup from me and kisses me on the forehead. Carlos and Mama share a look, but I'm too sleepy to care.

Jason leans down so that only I can hear him, and he whispers. "Get some sleep, angel."

Mama and Carlos leave in the morning. I tell her not to worry, and she tells me to be careful. She's right to be concerned. As soon as they leave, I'm going to pull Jason aside and tell him how I feel.

Jason is cleaning up after making all of us breakfast. Carlos merely made the coffee and expected accolades.

I come inside the house and stand in front of the kitchen island across from Jason.

"Ready for some target practice?" he asks.

"Let's skip it today. I have something I want to talk to you about."

He looks uneasy at my words, but he doesn't say anything.

"Jason, I have known you for the longest time. You are my brother's best friend, and I know you've always looked out for me in the background."

There was nothing but silence and a closed look on his face.

"I want there to be more between us. That kiss…"

"Can't happen again." He bursts out.

"That kiss showed me there's something between us, and I want to explore it."

He crosses his arms across his chest, looking menacing, but I'm not going to back down.

"I'm not a good man, Cassie. I can't be the man you deserve."

"Don't I get a choice in that? It's my life."

"I've done things…"

"You've killed people, I know."

"Damn Carlos and his big mouth."

"I don't care about your past, Jason. What I want is to see if eventually we could build a future together."