Page 125 of Our Deceptive Heat
I have so many questions, but I’m too scared to ask a single one. The sand burns my feet when we step onto it, and I quickly kick off my thongs, dropping Envy’s hand and jogging down to the wet, hard-packed sand, where I stare out at cerulean oceans.
“How did you guys find me?” I finally ask.
“You told me.”
His answer catches me off guard, and I turn my head, watching as he steps up beside me.
I open my mouth to argue and freeze. “You remembered?” It was a throwaway comment he wasn’t supposed to remember. “No, it doesn’t matter. You need to go back to wherever you came from and leave me alone.”
“I remember everything you say, Ryn.” Envy clears his throat and turns to face the ocean. The ocean is mirror smooth and barely laps at the shore. “You said three hundred islands. So, I came, and I started looking. And I’m not going anywhere, not without you.”
I stare at the side of his face, watching his jaw flex. “How many islands have you searched, Envy?”
He turns, his pale green eyes alight with the colours of paradise. “Too many, far too many.”
“Why?” I ask bluntly, not at all trusting his answer.
“Why? Why wouldn’t I?”
“But I don’t understand. We almost were something years ago, and you said we couldn’t be anything more. You said,” I stumble over the words and have to stop. “And then my heat, and you left.” My tone takes on a hysterical edge. “You left me, Envy, and then you sang her song!”
Envy chuckles. “You sound so angry.”
I whirl on him and shove him hard. “I’m furious. Do you enjoy causing me pain? Did you know how stupid I felt, standing in that crowd, staring up at you while you sang her stupid song? It was my one chance, Envy. I could have had a life. Now I need to run and hide until I can find someone to take me.”
He chuckles and reaches out, but I bat his hand away from me.
I shove at his chest. “Don’t laugh at me, and keep your hands to yourself.”
“I’m not laughing,” he says and captures my forearms. “I promise. No more laughing!”
“You left during my heat. Why are you here? You abandoned me when I needed you,” I snarl again and back up, needing space between us.
“Inhale, what do you smell, Ryn?” He is relentless, stalking me, following my retreat.
I smell the ocean, the beach, the forest, cinnamon, sugar, and coconut. It swirls thickly in the air, and my mouth waters. What is that smell?
That scent. It’s haunted me. Like a ghost, the scent appears in my dreams. I catch the edges of it from a distant memory. It teases me into a brain-melting exhaustion.
“What is this?” I whisper.
Envy steps towards me, but I retreat, my heel going into the cool ocean water. It stops me long enough for Envy to catch up my arms again, pulling me close to him.
“This is why I couldn’t join your heat. This is why I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you. And also why, when we almost fucked years ago, I ran. If I’d have known you would have disappeared, I don’t know what I would have done, but I have regretted that night, for not finishing, for starting it, for every moment you weren’t with us.” Envy exhales, his breath bathing my cheek.
I inhale, drawing that scent into my lungs.
“You can hate me, but you can’t hate them. They did it to protect me, to protect our future. You can’t hate them for what I am.”
My eyes are stretched so wide as I stare up at him. My face feels frozen. I remember Envy being standoffish, the surrounding scent, the way they protected him. He never signedautographs. He never slept with me. I never saw him naked because I would have seen he was missing his knot. Oh, wow.
“Do you know what I am, Auryn Raines?”
He always tasted sweet. His touch calmed the others. The crew protects him, Tony protects him. He’s never growled, and he doesn’t make me want to lift my throat to him.
Oh…my…god.
I peer up at him and shake my head the tiniest bit. Denial at its worst. He laughs, a soft, warm laugh.
