Page 75 of Endo
I nod, brushing it off. “Yeah. Finn and I were just bonding.”
Her lips quirk into a smile as she crouches beside me. “He likes you.”
“Can’t blame him,” I say, tossing another fish into the tank. “I’m pretty likable.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Sure you are, tough guy.”
We finish feeding Finn together, her explaining more about his recovery process and how they’ll eventually release him backinto the wild. The way she talks about it, about him, is so full of care and purpose. She’s not just doing a job—she’s healing something, and it hits me in a way I don’t know how to explain.
By the time we’re done, the rain’s eased up, and she leads me outside to a small bench overlooking the water. The hoodie’s still hanging off her, and she wraps it tighter around herself as she sits.
“You’re good at this,” I say after a while, breaking the silence.
She glances at me, raising an eyebrow. “At what?”
“At... caring,” I say, the words coming out rougher than I meant. “You put everything you have into this place, these animals. It’s not just a job for you.”
Her expression softens, and she looks back at the water. “It’s who I am,” she admits quietly. “I’ve always been like this. Cruz used to worry it was a kind of curse. Caring too much, he said it could be both a good thing, and a bad thing.”
“He wasn’t wrong,” I say, leaning back on the bench. “But caring like this, I don’t think it’s a bad thing, Lena. It’s... it’s what makes you, you. You’re making a difference, even if people don’t see it.”
She doesn’t respond right away, her gaze distant. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft. “Thanks. Anyways, I wanted you to see this place because... I don’t know. I thought maybe, if you could see that sometimes, bad things happen, but with a little care, patience and hard work, we can get through it, maybe it could help you? With all the stuff you’re going through.”
“It already has,” I admit, surprising myself. “More than you know.”
She turns to me, her eyes searching mine, and for a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of the gulls over head and the waves crashing on the shore just a few feet away. It feels... different. Like something shifted. Like maybe this place, this moment, is exactly where we’re supposed to be.
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close against me. She doesn’t resist, her body fitting against mine like it was meant to. My fingers find her hair, tucking a damp strand behind her ear, and I can’t help but linger, letting my knuckles brush against her cheek.
Her gaze drops for a second, something vulnerable flickering in her expression, and it hits me in the chest. I press a kiss to her forehead, letting my lips linger there, and when I pull back, I meet her eyes again.
“Thank you,” I say quietly, my voice rough. “For this. For letting me see it.”
She doesn’t say anything, but the way she leans into me, her arms slipping around my waist, says enough. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel... steady. Like maybe I’ve finally found something to hold on to.
27
LENA
Deep End - Birdy
For the firsttime in what feels like forever, I think I might be okay.
The realization comes to me quietly, like a whisper I almost don’t catch. But it’s there, soft and undeniable, curling in my chest as I sit at the small, wobbly kitchen table in my apartment. The sunlight streaming through the window feels warm instead of harsh. The air feels light instead of suffocating. I feel... good. Like I’m healing, slowly but surely, piece by piece.
I cradle my coffee mug—my favorite turtle one—in both hands, letting its warmth seep into my palms. The big goofy grin painted on its face starting to fade more with each wash. I can still remember the day Cruz bought it for me. He said it was hideous, the kind of mug no one else would want, so it was perfect for me. I’d rolled my eyes at him, but I’d kept it anyway, because anything from him always meant the world to me. Plus, it’s a fucking turtle.
Now it’s one of the few things I have left.
I sip the coffee, the rich caramel sweetness coating my tongue just the way I like it. I’ve always preferred my coffee sweet—more like dessert in a mug—but this morning, it feels like a little indulgence I’ve earned.Small victories, I remind myself. It feels good to have these moments of normalcy, to wake up and not immediately feel like the world is crumbling beneath my feet.
For so long, I didn’t think I’d ever get here. The grief was a tidal wave, dragging me under again and again.
But today? Today, the water feels calm. Manageable.
I glance at the clock on the wall. I have just enough time to get ready before heading to the track. The team will be wrapping up their practice soon, and then it’ll be my turn to train for the upcoming race. Reign promised to stick around and help me. Just the thought of seeing him makes my stomach flutter with a mix of excitement and nerves.
We’ve gotten closer these past few days, and I’m not sure how to act around him anymore. It’s uncharted territory—this thing between us. Did he tell the guys about us? No, hopefully not. I’m not ready for that. The idea of them knowing makes my chest tighten.
