Page 58 of Endo
Last night felt… fuck, it feltperfect. Every goddamn moment of it. But now? Now I’m stuck between what I want and what I can’t stop feeling—the guilt, the doubt, the fucking fear of ruining something I don’t even know how to define.
Lena sets her mug down on the counter and stretches, my hoodie riding up just enough to show a sliver of cute ass in her panties. I force myself to look away, grabbing my phone and shooting Andre a quick text.
Reign: Yeah, Lena and I’ll be there. And for the love of God, keep Thorne away from the warmup playlist. Last time, he threw on some boy band shit, and I’m pretty sure half the guys were ready to crash just to make it stop.
The response comes almost immediately.
Andre: Ah shit. Alright, good looking out, kid.
I chuckle under my breath, but it’s short-lived. The thought of standing in the pits, watching the guys line up without me, is like a punch to the gut.
But I’ll show up. Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pretending I’ve got my shit together when I don’t.
I glance at the clock—11:27 a.m.—before turning to Lena. “We should get going if we’re gonna make it on time.”
She nods, grabbing her mug and finishing the last of her coffee. “Guess I’d better get dressed, then.”
I watch her walk back toward the bedroom, the hoodie swaying around her legs, and for a second, all the guilt and doubt fade away.
Because for better or worse, Lena’s here.
And that’s more than I deserve.
The track isalive with noise when Lena and I get there—engines roaring, people shouting. The smell of exhaust and fuel is sharp in the air, mingling with the scent of dirt and hot asphalt.
The pits are pure chaos. Bikes are scattered in every direction, half-assembled or gleaming and ready to go, while the guys dart around like they’re running on adrenaline and sheer instinct. Tools clatter against the pavement, shouted instructions mix with the rumble of engines, and every move feels rushed, frantic. Each of them is focused on their own bike, their own prep, like the world will end if they’re not ready in time. It’s a mess of activity, and yet somehow, it’s organized in its own way—controlled chaos with a purpose.
Andre spots me first, striding over with a grin that’s too damn cheerful for this early in the day. “Hey kid, glad you made it! Took you long enough, almost thought you changed your mind.”
“Traffic,” I lie, smirking as I clap him on the back.
His eyes shift to Lena, and his grin widens. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Lena, damn, it’s been a minute.”
She smiles, stepping forward and giving him a quick hug. “Hey, old man. It’s good to see you.”
“Good to see you too,” he says, stepping back and giving her a once-over. “What made you decide to come?”
Her smile tightens just a little, but her voice stays light. “Cruz may not be here, but I know this is where he’d want me to be. Besides, it’s Revel’s first race, so someone’s gotta cheer him on... or at least be here to laugh when he inevitably does something stupid.”
Andre chuckles, crossing his arms. “That sounds about right. Cruz would want all of us focused, not wallowing.” He glances over his shoulder at the chaos of the pits. “As for Revel, he’s been putting in the work. Kid’s got raw talent, and now that he’s officially on the team, he’s gonna be a solid addition. His lap times have been consistent, and he’s got a knack for strategy that few riders have nowadays.”
Lena’s expression softens, nodding. “He does. And I think he’s ready. He might still be finding his rhythm, but he’s quick. He’s a dumb ass, but even I can admit he’s got potential to shave some serious time off for the team this season.”
Andre smiles, shaking his head. “Still feels weird, though, not seeing Cruz around. He’d be out here pushing everyone harder than ever, riding circles around them all, keeping the team on edge in the best way.”
Lena’s gaze dips for a moment, her voice quieter. “Yeah, he would. Cruz didn’t just lead by example—he made sure everyone stepped up. Like a real team player. Whether you liked it or not.”
Andre sighs, but his grin doesn’t waver for long. “Revel’s got some of that fire in him. It’s different, but he’s already pushing the team. His timing’s sharp, and he’s aggressive when it counts. It’s going to pay off big this season if he keeps that up.”
He glances back toward the lineup of bikes, where Revel is fiddling with his helmet, looking all business. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate you being here to cheer him on. Shit, they all will.” He smirks, clearly teasing. “They’re ready for this.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Warm-ups in ten. Vipers are already running their mouths, but I have no doubt the guys will shut them up when it counts.”
“Don’t let the guys feed into it, we know the Vipers love to talk, but they ain’t got shit to back it up with, without their so called star rider,” I reply, smirking.
Andre snorts. “Ha, I’ll do what I can, but you know how they are,” he says, walking off toward the lineup of bikes, leaving me and Lena standing in the middle of the organized chaos.
I glance at her, but she’s already wandered a few steps away, watching one of the guys fine-tune his bike. She looks calm, almost at ease, but I know better. I can see the way her arms are crossed, her fingers tracing the edge of her sleeve, like she’s grounding herself, steadying something inside.
“Hey,” I say, stepping closer. “You good?”
