Page 43 of Endo
Not because I’m not tired—my body feels like it’s been put through a goddamn grinder, but my head won’t shut the hell up. It’s stuck on her.
Lena’s smile keeps flashing in my mind, like a fucking highlight reel I didn’t ask for. That little spark in her eyes when I told her she did good today, and the way her cheeks went pink like she wasn’t used to hearing it.
Shit, it was cute. Too fucking cute.
Then there was the shirt.Myshirt. She looked… I don’t even know how to describe it—soft? Fucking perfect? Comfortable as hell? The sleeves were way too long, and it hung off her like she was drowning in it, but that just made it worse. Made me want to grab her, pull her closer, keep her in it forever.
She smelled like me, like oil, grease, and sweat—shit, I wouldn’t think twice about it most days. But on her? It did something to me. Seeing her in my shirt shouldn’t have hit melike a goddamn punch to the chest, but it did. It was like she was wearing a piece of me, and fuck if that didn’t mess with my head.
And the way holding her made me feel? Fuck, I’m not even sure how to put that into words. She just fit. Like every inch of her belonged there, against me. Her hands clung to my shirt, hesitant but not letting go, like she wasn’t sure she should but couldn’t stop herself.
Hell, I couldn’t stop myself either.
Today was different. It wasn’t just about her training. No, today was something else. Something entirely new, for both of us. And it’s driving me fucking insane because I can’t stop thinking about it. About her. About how good she felt in my arms and how badly I want to feel it again. Fuck.
I can still feel her lips on mine.Shit.
My chest tightens when I think about the kiss, or the warmth of her pressed against me. Everything about it felt natural, like it was meant to happen. Her soft sigh against my mouth still echoes in my mind, the way I wanted to pull her closer but held back, like I was afraid she’d disappear if I held on too tight.
I didn’t expect it to feel like that. Didn’t expectherto feel like that.
And then there’s Cruz. The gnawing guilt that’s been eating away at me, keeping me awake. I still can’t wrap my head around it.How the fuck can I feel like this about her?I’m betraying him, aren’t I? He was my best friend. I’m supposed to have his back, not… feel what I feel every time she’s near.
I feel like a piece of shit.
She’s his girl. She’s the one person he trusted above everyone. And here I am, unable to get her out of my head.
God, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I glance at my phone. It’s sitting on the nightstand, the light from the screen glaring in the dark room. Without thinking, I grab it.
Reign: Hey, sorry, I know it’s late, but I just wanted to let you know that you did good today.
I type out the message quickly, my fingers hesitating slightly over the keys. I don’t expect a reply. I shouldn’t even send it, but I do anyway.
The buzz of my phone starts almost immediately. I look at the screen, expecting to see the usual “Okay, thanks” or some half-hearted response. But instead, it’s a full message from her.
Lena: Did good today? Are you sure you’re talking about me? I don’t remember signing up for a compliment.
I laugh, shaking my head. I know she’s always got something smart to say.
Reign: Oh, I’m definitely talking about you. It’s a rare sight, watching you actually listen to me.
Lena: Oh please. I listen all the time. I just don’t always take your advice.
Reign: Mmhmm, sure you do. I’ll take it as a win anyway.
Lena: Fine. But don’t get used to it. You won’t catch me being this nice to you every day. You free to meet up tomorrow? I really want to get those turns down before the next race.
My stomach twists when I read her message. Tomorrow. Shit, I’m ready to be whenever, wherever—any time she needs me.
Reign: Sure, let’s meet at the track after lunch. I’ll grab the coffees. You want your usual, or should I surprise you?
Lena: Hmm, surprise me, if you think you can handle it. I like a challenge.
My thumb hovers over the keyboard for a moment before I hit send. I didn’t expect to be this excited to see her again. But the thought of being around her, helping her—hell, just being near her again—it makes something inside me stir. Something I’m not sure I can control.
Reign: Oh, I’m up for it. We’ll see how well you handle the surprise.
