Page 54 of Before the Storm
“She did,” Tara said.
Cindy pulled at her nails and watched the rain outside. “How did you find out your father died?”
“It was a coincidence,” Tara answered.
Cindy sniffed. “How’s that?”
“We were coming to Seattle anyway,” Tara said. “Josie dragged me out here. She wants everyone to talk about what happened. She wants us to forgive each other.”
Not that I did anything wrong!Tara thought now.
But immediately after that, she felt crushed with a wave of guilt. The truth was, all those years ago, she’d convinced herself she’d done something to chase her mother and father away. She’d built a foundation of belief so powerful that she couldn’t dismantle it.
Her grief therapist had talked about this over and over again: the idea that Tara had been punishing herself for her mother and father leaving since 2001.
“I guess it’s too late for you to forgive your father,” Cindy said. “It’s too late for him to ask for forgiveness, anyway.”
“Would he have asked?”
Cindy raised her eyebrows. “I don’t think he ever apologized for anything in his life.”
Tara laughed nervously. The room was spinning around her. Was she brave enough for this conversation? She wasn’t sure she was. Maybe she should go wake up Josie. Maybe Josie could take over.
“I just never thought I’d see you again,” Cindy said then, her eyes filling. “It’s been nearly twenty-four years, Tara. Twenty-four years since I heard your voice! Twenty-four years since I saw your face!” Cindy hung her head. “It’s ridiculous. I can’t fathom it.”
Tara swallowed the lump in her throat. “Then why did you do it?”
Immediately, Tara felt ashamed for asking. But it was all she could do.
Cindy drank the rest of her glass of wine. “Maybe I’m finally ready to tell you,” she said. “But I have to warn you. I don’t look good in this story. Neither does your father.”
Tara wanted to say,That doesn’t surprise me.
But she urged her mother to answer the question that had burned inside her since 2001. Why did they leave like that?
It was time to face the truth.
Chapter Sixteen
January 2025
Seattle
Cindy held her wineglass with both hands and stood wide-legged in front of the bulletin board covered with photos of Bob from all walks of life: babyhood to boyhood and beyond. Tara watched her mother’s eyes, watching them flit from one version of Bob to the next until they settled on the photo of Bob with baby Tara. Tara’s throat was thick with fear. Cindy was about to hand over dramatic secrets—secrets that could make or break Tara’s ability to forgive Cindy at all. Josie was still asleep upstairs, but there wasn’t time to go fetch her.
Tara guessed that Josie didn’t mind. Josie had made her peace with what had happened. She just wanted Tara and Cindy to mend their broken relationship and move forward—without Josie. In Josie’s mind, she wouldn’t be here much longer anyway.
Tara suppressed a sob. She suppressed the desire to run upstairs, throw her arms around Josie, and demand to take her back to Nantucket Hospital.We’re wasting time!
But Cindy had begun to speak. She’d begun to explain herself.
“You must remember Josie’s birthday,” Cindy offered.
“Just about a year before mine,” Tara said. She’d never forget her older sister’s birthday. It was etched into the walls of her mind.
“Right.” Cindy folded her lips.
“I always thought it seemed difficult,” Tara said. “You had a three-month-old when I was conceived.”
