Page 111 of Where Shadows Bloom
“I love you,” I said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Iwantto go with you. But what I want... it’s not the only important thing.” I pointed to the others far behind us. “They have been trapped here forever. Separated from time, separated from their loved ones. They don’t deserve this. So I will make a trade with the Shadow King. I will stay here, and he will releaseallof them to the world above.”
“Then I’ll stay here with you.”
I clenched my eyes shut. I knew she’d say such a thing. Dependable, beautiful Lope.
“Listen to me,” I whispered, and she was utterly silent, even though her eyes were burning. “I meant what I said. You deserve the world, my love. You deserve to go out and see it.”
“I don’t want it.” She shook her head, tears tumbling down her cheeks. “I don’t want the world. Just you.”
I hushed her again, cupping her cheek in my hand. She canted her head, kissing my palm.
“I am all you’ve ever known,” I said, “and all this time, I’ve been your mistress. I don’t want to be that anymore. Idon’t want to order you about.” My finger carefully traced a strand of hair, placing it back behind her ear. “I don’t have a title or money or gifts, but I want to give you this choice. I want you to decide for yourself if I am all that you want. Go. See the world above. Drink in all its beauty. Write ten thousand poems.”
“And if I decide that it’s you that I want?”
I laughed at the certainty in her voice, and then ached, because I had never felt so confident before that somebody loved me. And I was about to lose that love.
“In a year’s time,” I said, “if you choose me, I’ll be here. I’ll be yours. This world below will pale in comparison to the one above, but it’ll be ours. But please, Lope. Give yourself a chance. Go and live. And not for me—for yourself.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and desperately tried to hold back tears. “I just want you to know how much I love you.”
“I know it,” she whispered. “But do not ask me to leave you like you did before—”
“I ask nothing of you.” I bowed her head close to mine and pressed a kiss to her brow. “It’s your choice. You get to decide what you want.”
Lope slowly drew back from me. She gazed at the giant crystal, suspended over the smooth obsidian waters. A small smile flitted across her lips—fond and nostalgic.
“I want... another moment,” she said. “We have beenrunning and fighting for so, so long. All I want right now is to sit on this shore with you, for just a little longer.”
We rested next to each other, watching the dark waves lap over themselves. The seafoam was like lace and would cling to the sparkling sand for a moment before it faded away.
We listened to the waters, like rushing winds or the sound of a lullaby.
“This used to be my dream,” said Lope. She delicately fit her hand in mine. “I’d lie on a beach somewhere, and you’d be there, too.”
“Do you want to lie down?”
She smiled, bending close to nestle her head against mine. “It is difficult to tell you what I want. All the silly things my heart aches for.”
“They’re not silly,” I promised her. I tucked her hair behind her ears and cradled her face, admiring the white and purple reflections against the steel gray of her eyes. “May I speak honestly with you?”
“Yes.” Lope pressed a kiss on my forehead. “Titles and stations and pretenses. Can we let them all fall away?”
“Please.”
She kissed my temple and my cheekbone and the corner of my mouth. I wanted to melt into her touch, to let her sweep me away like the tide.
“I—I am afraid of saying the wrong thing,” I murmured. “For so long, I was used to... how things were before. I’mfrightened that my old self, or perhaps my true self, will burst forth, and I’ll say something hurtful to you and not know it. Or that you won’t feel safe enough to tell me something.” I swallowed a lump in my throat. “In truth I... I simply have no idea what I’m doing. I want to love you well. I want to give you all that you deserve.”
Lope carefully tipped my chin toward hers, and another kiss from her made the worries in my mind fizzle away for a moment.
“Here’s my truth,” she said, her words tickling my lips. “I am utterly clueless when it comes to love.”
I laughed, soft and sad. “I wish we could start over.”
“I don’t. We have come so far. We have earned our scars. We have changed. I loved you before. I love you now. And I wager I’ll love the person you’ll become, too.”
I shook my head at her. “You deserve someone perfect.”
“Isn’t that for me to decide?”
