Page 17 of The Alien's Private Redemption

“Do you like him?”

“What kind of question is that?”

Of course, I like him. I’ve gone on more than one date with the man. He’s a good person, and he’s kind, considerate, and smart. John is everything a woman could want in a man. My mother would approve, that’s for sure.

“It’s the kind of question I need you to answer, Jen.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose between my eyes. I’m suddenly not feeling very well. And when a server walks by carrying tonight’s seafood pasta dish, the smell hits me like a ton of bricks.

I’m going to be sick.I hang up my phone and hightail it to the bathroom. The last thing I need is to throw up in the middle of this place.How terrible would that be?I barely contain myself long enough to get into the bathroom and throw open a door before I literally lose my lunch.

I hope I’m not coming down with something. I can’t be off because we’ve been so busy at the bakery, which throws too much work on everyone else. We need to hire some more people. It was terrible for Evelyn last month when I had to take a day off because my cramps were so intense, andoh my damn!

My period is late.

“Shit!”

EIGHT

Maddox

“Hello? Jen? Jen, are you there? Hello? Dammit!” Shit, I think she hung up on me.Fuck!I toss my phone down on the table beside me, scrape my hand down my face, and rub my hand over my beard. I’m getting more frustrated by the second.

All this is weighing on me like an anchor tied to my feet, dragging me down to the darkest depths. I’m not even enjoying our gigs right now. I’m there, I’m playing all the chords, but my mind and my fucking heart are back home.

I’m lost to Jen Haner.

Everything I do, every day that she isn’t a part of my life, seems darker, duller somehow. How did I never notice this before? I knew something was missing.

Her. She’s missing.

Every day without her feels like a fucking loss I will never recover from.

“What’s up with you? You look aggravated as hell?” Silas walks out of the hotel room, sitting beside me on the balcony.

I can feel his gaze on the side of my head. He won’t let this go. Out of all of us in the band, he just knows when something is off with one of us. He always has. And Silas will call you out on yourbullshit in a damn second, so there’s no use trying to lie to him. He isn’t going to buy it.

“That would be correct.” I sigh, rest my elbows on my knees, and rub my hands over my tattooed head.I would kill for a new tattoo right now. Something to distract me from the fucking mess I have allowed to fester between Jen and me.

How did we get here?

Why did I let things deteriorate to this point between us? Fuck, we’re barely talking now.

That’s a far cry from a few weeks ago when I fucked her on that porch outside of Christina and Rim’s house. That one has been tucked away in a very special spot in my spank bank, and I have thought of it often since we left on tour.

“Shit, that obvious?” I look over, and Silas, stares off into the abyss, lost in the view of the city we’re staying in tonight, or possibly like me, he is lost somewhere else, someplace else in time.

“Yeah, man, you were going through the motions tonight. The crowd wouldn’t ever know it, though. We’ve been at this too long. We can all play from muscle memory at this point.”

I never want to waste an opportunity to deliver for our fans, but man, I can’t stop thinking about Jen. I can’t entirely focus on anything else right now. She’s taking all my focus. It seems like there’s a huge clock ticking above my head, and my chance to be with her is about to wind down.

“I hate that I’m just not into it mentally right now. I never let shit get in my head like this, especially not enough to ruin a show.”

“You’re only human, Madd. Cut yourself some slack. You didn’t ruin the show. Like I said, no one but us would know that you’re having an off time.”

He isn’t wrong, but none of this sits right with me. I never want to disappoint our fans, but fuck, my heart is breaking.

I grab my phone and scroll through my pictures to see her beautiful face, stopping at a photo of her that means the world to me. I stare at her beautiful copper-brown eyes that remind me exactly why I miss her. Her dark locks are pulled into a low bun at the base of her neck, and I miss this woman so badly that I’ll never survive this entire tour without her; I’m so fucking stupid. I should have told her how I felt instead of waiting to let things between us naturally evolve. Instead, I’ve likely lost my shot because she keeps dating John.