Page 56 of Thicker than Water

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Page 56 of Thicker than Water

Cass fights back a grin. Watching stoic JJ, Sanctum hunter extraordinaire, get so excited about churros con chocolate might just be the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. “Any other wishes for me, Jackson?” he asks, leaning his elbows back against the table. “You’ll find that I’m quite skilled at granting wishes.”

JJ’s lips twitch. “How about a million dollars?”

Cass holds up his hand like he’s about to open a pocket dimension. “I can write you a check right now.”

“Don’t youdare,”JJ says, but he’s smiling. “Let’s see‍—what else do I wish for? I wish spring would come soon and bring warmer weather with it. I wish there were more picture books about dragons at the library for Desi. I wish‍—‍” He cuts himself off. Looks away.

Frowning, Cass leans in. “You wish…?”

After a long moment, JJ whispers, “I wish I could be here more. I wish I could really watch Desi grow up, you know? To see her discover everything about the world. Honestly, I‍—I feel like I’m living for these two days a week when I get to visit. I wish I could be here all the time.”

Cass’s heart starts to beat faster. “Well, that’s easy,” he says, keeping his voice as even as possible. “Defect from the Sanctum and come live with us. I have a spare bedroom.”

JJ flinches. “Don’t even joke, Cass.”

What do you want, Cass? Do you want to try?

Taking a deep breath, Cass soldiers on. “I’m not joking. I could set up defensive spells around my house, and Ez has been working on a deactivation for Sanctum enchantments. That way, you could actually touch Desi without worrying about hurting her.”And maybe touch me, too.“Yes, it would be complicated. There would be a lot of steps involved. But it’s nowhere near impossible, JJ.”

JJ’s jaw works. “I can’t. You know that.”

Cass’s chest hurts. “Because you don’t want to?” he asks quietly. “Or because you feel like you owe the Sanctum your life?”

JJ hunches his shoulders. Doesn’t answer.

And Cass wants to drop it. Heshoulddrop it. He shouldn’t push any harder when JJ is so clearly uncertain, shouldn’t pressure JJ and risk him shutting down entirely.

Cass should just leave it at that, but instead, he says, “Demons don’t grow up the same way humans do.”

JJ’s eyes flicker over to him, confused. “Yeah. I know that.”

Do you?Cass bites back the words. “Tell me what you know.”

“Well…” JJ’s eyebrows knit together. “I know that most spellcasters summon demons from Tamaros in the form of someone they lost‍—a child, a parent, a spouse. And, since demons are immortal, they don’t have to change their appearance or ‘age’ at all if they don’t want to.” He nods towards Desi. “But I also know that form determines function, so you couldn’t have a fully developed adult mind in a child’s body. So if Desi didn’t physically age herself up, she wouldn’t progress far beyond a toddler’s mentality. After a few years, she could be a somewhat mature four-year-old, but she wouldn’t progress past the developmental age of maybe a seven-year-old.”

Cass’s throat feels dry. “Right. Human brains don’t finish maturing until a person’s mid-twenties. That’s why most demons age themselves up to that point.” He takes a deep breath. “But we’re usually not given any choice in the matter. Our summoners order us to grow up once they realize that it’s difficult to turn a child into a ruthless soldier. So‍—so imagine Desi as she is now, carefree and playful and loving, but then imagine her being ordered to transform into an adult. Her entire brain rewiring itself to maturity in an instant, her personality and temperament jumping two decades ahead. Losing all her innocence in a split second.”

JJ looks like he just got punched in the stomach. “Oh,” he says haltingly. “Is‍—is that what would’ve happened to her? If I hadn’t killed her summoner?”

“Most likely,” Cass says, and he hesitates. “And it’s what happened to Ez, too.”

JJ’s eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yeah. Obie doesn’t talk about when he was summoned, so I don’t know if he had a similar experience, but‍—but Ez was summoned as a six-year-old. A little girl, based on her summoner’s late daughter.” An old anger snakes through Cass’s chest. “Obviously, she wasn’t useful enough to him like that. He forced her to age herself up within a month. She doesn’t talk about it much, but that abrupt transition is traumatic. Almost as traumatic as the summoning itself.”

“And you?” JJ’s eyes are sad. “Is that what happened to you, too?”

Cass shakes his head. “Not to that extreme. I was summoned in the human façade of a fifteen-year-old‍—nearly identical to my summoner’s late son. He forced me to grow up within a few months, too, but the developmental jump wasn’t as large.” He looks away. “I still… felt it, though. Like I lost a piece of myself. Like‍—like I was nostalgic for something I almost had.”

“I’m so sorry,” JJ whispers. “That never should’ve happened. Not to you, and not to Ez, and‍—and not to any of you.”

Cass meets his eyes. “Did you feel like that, too? After your family died?”After the Sanctum took you in and turned you into a killer?

“I‍—‍” JJ swallows hard, but he doesn’t drop Cass’s gaze. “Yeah. Everything felt… colder. And smaller. Like the world wasn’t big and bright and full of promise anymore. Like it was just… there.”

Slowly, deliberately, Cass lets his hand drift to the side. Rests the backs of his fingers against JJ’s jacket sleeve, wishing he could touch the warm skin underneath. “That’s what I never want Desi to feel,” he says softly. “Not for another twenty years, at least. Not until she’s had time to see all the beauty and the goodness here first. I‍—I want her to love this world before she learns to hate it. Most demons never get that chance, but it’s really important to me that she does. And you… help with that. So I wish you could be here all the time, too.”

For a long moment, JJ searches Cass’s face. Cass holds his breath, trying to parse out the emotions flickering through JJ’s eyes. Did he catch the silent meaning, the silentquestion,behind Cass’s words? Does he understand that he and Cass both want the same thing‍—to keep Desi safe and watch her grow up?


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