Page 145 of Gift from the Nexus
I give my head a shake, like that will rid my brain of the problem. But even as I try to redirect my thoughts, I can't shake the memory of Bella in my arms. The way she felt, the way she looked at me. It awakened something inside me.
I stand at the window, staring out at the swirling snow. The flakes are coming down thick and fast now, blanketing the world in white. It's beautiful, in a way, but I can't appreciate it.
The isolation that seemed like a blessing earlier now feels like a curse. We're trapped here, cut off from the world. And while that might keep us safe from whoever's after us, it also leaves us vulnerable. No way to get help if we need it. No way to find out what's going on back in New York.
I lean my forehead against the cool glass, trying to think. I need to contact Max. He's our only lifeline right now, the only person I trust to have our backs. I’ve already checked the house and there’s no phone. Although I’d be an idiot to use it. Anyone watching Max might be able to trace the call back to here.
I need to get a burner phone, but the weather makes that impossible at the moment. Frustration grows. We're running out of options and time. The longer we stay silent, the more danger Gia could be in back home.
But the phone isn’t our only concern. The surprise snowstorm is strong enough, coming down hard enough, that I have to consider we’ll be here for a time. I need to make sure we're prepared.
I start by taking inventory of our supplies. The pantry is decently stocked with non-perishables, canned goods, pasta, and rice. It's not gourmet, but it'll keep us fed. I check the fridge, but except for some beer and condiments, it’s empty. There’s a bottle of vodka in the freezer. I have half a mind to start drinking it.
Next, I need to make sure we’re prepared for a power outage. If the power goes out, we'll need a way to stay warm. I search the closet in the kitchen and find a heavy coat that looks like it might fit me. It's not exactly stylish, but it'll do the job.
I glance out the window at the swirling snow. The idea of going outside isn't appealing, but I need to see if there's agenerator or a woodpile somewhere on the property. I pull on the coat and open the door to a gust of snow that hits me like a slap in the face. I trudge through the calf-deep snow, circling the cabin, scanning for a generator or woodpile.
I hope to find a generator, as I don’t want to build a fire. The smoke would give away that someone is in the cabin, a cabin that is supposed to be empty. There are several mounds that suggest heat pumps and maybe a generator, but I can’t be sure and I’m freezing my ass off. My feet are getting wet, and considering I just spent several days in a fever delirium, I’m not wanting to return to that.
I return to the back door and see a bin. Opening it, I find it filled with chopped wood. It will have to do. I grab a few logs, deciding I’ll bring some inside by the fireplace just in case.
I shake off the snow as I enter the cabin, stamping my shoes to rid them of the clinging white powder. The warmth inside envelops me, but my relief is short-lived as I spot Bella.
She’s standing in the kitchen, her eyes wide and afraid.
“What’s wrong?” I quickly scan the area, cursing myself for not having my gun on me. Did someone break in?
"I thought… I thought you'd left," she whispers.
What the fuck? “No.” I hold up the wood. “Just getting some wood in case the power goes out.” I tilt my head to study her. Why would she think I’d leave her alone?
She bites her lip, clearly struggling with something. "After what happened… the kiss… I thought maybe you regretted it."
I sigh. "I don't regret it, Bella. But I understand if you do. We don’t need to think about it or talk about it, okay?"
“I… I don’t regret it, but…” She doesn’t finish the thought. My ego likes that she doesn’t regret the kiss, but it’s annoying that her unsaid words are likely guilt due to her arrangement with my father.
“If you hadn’t done it, I would have,” I say with an edge of annoyance. “That kiss was inevitable.”
She stares at me with that wide-eyed innocence. Again, I think about how my father is going to ruin her. She thinks the kiss was wrong, but my delivering her to my father, that is wrong, and I can’t be a part of it.
The answer to the problem is there. Has been there for years. But I’ve always pushed it aside knowing it could bring me and Gia more problems than it would solve. Right now, though, it’s the only solution for us all. I need to kill my father.
12
BELLA
Istand frozen in the kitchen, my heart pounding as Nic's words echo in my ears.If you hadn’t done it, I would have. That kiss was inevitable.
My first kiss was… wow. The idea of mashing lips together never made sense to me. What’s pleasurable about that? Now I know. I was driven by a deep yearning, a need to kiss him. And once my lips touched his, the proverbial fireworks blasted through my body. That yearning seeped into my bloodstream. When he pulled me close, his hands touching me, I gave in to the sensations, needing more, more, more.
Now, in the aftermath, I feel guilt at essentially cheating on my fiancé, Nic’s father. What kind of person does that make me? He must think I'm terrible, a faithless woman with no morals or self-control.
Full of shame, I’d run out of the room. And when I heard the back door open, I panicked. I was sure he was leaving, disgusted by my behavior. It scared me to be alone, but more than that, I hate the idea of his thinking badly of me.
Seeing him walk back into the kitchen filled me with relief, but it didn’t alleviate my shame.
His words replay in my mind again.If you hadn’t done it, I would have. That kiss was inevitable.