Page 108 of No Place Like Home
“Town shit?” I asked as I wiped under my eyes.
“They know you’re back,” Prescott said grimly.
My stomach dropped for the second time today.
I hadn’t really let myself think about how many people I was hurting. It took me a long time to realize that sometimes it was okay to be selfish. And that was the only thing that gave me comfort.
We made mistakes, and I didn’t intend to run from mine forever, so that had to count for something, right?
Time to face the music. Preston had warned me this would happen. My therapist had as well. But hearing it and living it were two different things.
Once I was in the house, I checked in on Quinny. She was out for the night. She was curious about Quincy, the only other man that had visited us besides Prescott. To say I’d deprived my child of family was an understatement.
We waited on the sofa as Prescott's phone kept blowing up. It wasn’t fair of me to keep asking him to lie to his family. I had been selfish enough.
My hardest goodbye had been my hardest hello as well. Everyone else would just add to the pain I was already used to carrying.
“You don’t have to keep lying to them,” I said as I looked at the wall absently.
“Good thing you said that, because Max has figured it out.”
I almost smiled. “You can run away. I’ll be okay.”
“It’s okay, kiddo. Let's get this shit over with. I’m going to make myself some coffee,” he said, walking to the kitchen.
“Go for it. It’s your place.”
He glared. “You want some?”
“Sure.”
We knew the moment everyone arrived. More than one car could be heard. Steps sounded like a stampede. My heart began to beat faster, and my hands got sweaty.
It’s okay. They’re my family, and they will understand.
Or so I kept telling myself over and over. My therapist and I had gone over this. It was going to be fine.
The doorknob started to turn, and I looked at it, trying to see through the wood. See the first person who would walk in through those doors.
Before I knew it, I was standing up, watching. Waiting.
When the door opened, the first one to walk through was Juliet.
Shit.
She stepped inside, and behind her was Jake. I only noticed this because she stopped walking and just stared at me.
I knew I needed to try to say something and explain, but I didn’t know how to start.
We don’t always run away because we don’t love people. We sometimes run away because loving them makes it all too clear that we don’t love ourselves.
I really needed to say something. She and Rosie were the ones who needed an explanation. Just as I opened my mouth to get the words to come out, she rushed to me and embraced me.
“Did you have any idea how terrified I was all these years?” she hissed in my ear.
I felt like shit.
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” I whispered. My hands were still firmly at my sides.