Page 93 of Crucible
Still, I keep going.
There’s no way I can turn back now, no way I can go back to that cabin where they confuse and make me crave things I should hate. And the longer I spend lost in their orbit, the more I want to know what made them as alone and broken as me.
It’s dangerous. It’s unhealthy. It’s insane.
I don’t stop when I reach the edge of the valley where they had been. I charge across the frozen plain, even as my lungs burn from exertion and the threat of getting lost rises with every other step.
This has to be the dumbest, most desperate thing I have ever done.
Even more reckless than fighting off a pack of wolves to save someone whose last name I can’t even remember.
Insanity.
I’m not more than a few feet inside the valley when I lose sight of them. The wind, snow, and mist swirling in the air is even denser up ahead, and it quickly swallows them up. The sound of the Ski-Doo engines fades soon after, and I’m left with only my gasping breaths and my heart pounding in my ears.
Out of breath, I fall to my knees. A moment later, I tip my head back and scream my frustration for only the mountain and wildlife to hear.
Somewhere in the distance, a lone wolf howls back.
I don’t know how long I kneel on the frozen ground before I drag myself up again. I wrap my arms around my shivering body and force my feet to keep pushing the rest of me forward.
I have to find that damn camp.
I have to get off this mountain before I lose myself to it and the men who claim it as fiercely as they’ve claimed me.
Khalil, Seth, and Thorin are already getting to me. I can feel it.
The thick fog shrouding the rest of the valley welcomes me into its deceptive fold, and soon, I can’t tell which direction I’m going. When I turn back the way I think I came, all I see is more of the gray curtain. I retreat and retrace for what feels like hours, but it just feels like I’m going in circles. Where had the fucking sky gone?
At some point, it starts snowing again, and I hear Seth’s voice in my head, followed by Khalil and Thorin’s.
“It’s cleaner for us to let you perish from exposure or the impact of falling from a cliff because you can’t see more than five feet in front of you,”Seth informs me.
“It looked pretty clear outside to me.”
“Wait a while,”Khalil snaps.
“The weather here can turn in an instant,”Thorin adds.
In conclusion, R.I.P Aurelia.
At the time, I thought those assholes were being cruel when really they were trying to save me from myself without lifting a finger toactuallysave me.
The snowfall has been getting heavier for hours until I can barely see my numb hand right in front of my face. The temperature has been dropping steadily, and the winds arehowling. It all feels very familiar. It feels like the storm that took down my plane.
I tell myself that if I found the cabin once, I could find it again.
It’s not until I reach the edge of a frozen lake that I’m forced to face what’s become obvious by the hour.
I’m lost.
KHALIL
The camp is bustling with activity when the helicopter that picked us up from the exfil point drops us off at the edge of the encampment. All around us, the search team is rushing back and forth around and in and out of tents, either packing up or tying down equipment. It’s too early to call off the search, at least for a couple more days. It’s only first light, which we barely made because Aurelia is a distraction that’s going to get us caught.
It doesn’t matter how much I remind myself of the danger she poses, though.
We’re not. Giving. Her back.
