Page 237 of Crucible
“I don’t know!” he roars back.
His face is pinched with worry as he turns this way and that.
“Was he wearing his tracer?”
“I don’t…” Khalil’s voice breaks. “Fuck, I don’t know.” To himself, he mumbles, “Seth, you fucking idiot.”
Snatching the tracker from Khalil, who’s gone catatonic, I stumble and crawl through the snow. I point the little device in the last place I saw him.
“Seth!” I trip again when I try to run in another direction. “Seth, you answer me!” I demand even though I know he can’t.
No time. No air.
We’re running out of time. Seth’s running out of air.
My fault, my fault.
If I’d just stayed in bed. If I hadn’t snuck out. If I hadn’t felt the need to challenge and push their buttons for the promise of a hot and dirty fuck.
Once again, I’m responsible for people dying.
“Seeeeeth, pleeeeease.” My stomach suddenly cramps, and the crushing pain of losing him forever sends me to my knees, where I double over.
When it subsides, all that’s left is anger.
The only thing more useless than me is this fucking tracker. In a fit of rage and hopelessness, I chuck it as far as I can and scream.
I don’t watch where it goes, but I hear it land in the snow a few feet away.
Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep!
My head snaps up with a gasp.
Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep!
I surge from the ground and back onto my feet. Khalil and Thorin must hear it, too. They sprint past me and beat me to the tracker as we all race for it at the same time.
Their cleated boots help them navigate the extra feet of snow a little better, though they still struggle, losing precious seconds. They’re already digging by the time I reach the tracker.
None of us speak as I join them.
The only thing we can do is dig.
Khalil and Thorin dig for their brother. I dig for the man I love.Oneof the men I love.
It feels like forever before we see even a small part of him.
His glove.
He’s still holding onto that purple flower he picked for me as if he still wanted me to have it even through death. My smile is wobbly as I take it from him and tuck it into my hair.
We manage to find his head and get his face free, but Seth doesn’t take a breath. It’s eerily silent, his face wholly still as Thorin and Khalil keep digging.
I…I can’t.
I’m stuck staring at his frozen face. His beautiful, taunting, sweet face. Seth’s eyes are closed, but no matter how long I wait, they don’t open.
No, no, no.
