Page 155 of Crucible
Wishing I was dead…
And it won’t…not until we give in to Isaac.
Zeke has to die so that Isaac can live forever.
It’s Zeke’s penance for their father having an outside child with Zeke’s mother, and immortality is the gift Thanatos offers Isaac in exchange for Zeke’s sacrifice.
“Seth!” Khalil snaps. “Goddammit. I told you that you couldn’t handle it!”
“Sunshine,” I gasp. “I need Sunshine.”
It’s so so dark here.
If I don’t see Aurelia in the next ten seconds, I can’t promise I won’t drown Zeke in the lake tomake it stop.
Dropping to the ground, I curl Zeke’s body in on itself because I can’t convince my brain that we’re not in that cage. Thescars and burns on his arms, chest, and legs bite like they’ve split open again and we’re bleeding.
I used to be able to handle the pain. It used to be all I knew, but then Sunshine…
“All right, Seth. Come on. I’ll take you to her.”
I can’t move, so Khalil tries to take my arm, but I jerk away and bare my teeth before he can touch me. All I see is Isaac’s hand holding the knife. Khalil’s brown eyes flash with hurt, and I know all he can see is Zeke—his best friend—too broken to trust him. The sting of my rejection fades, and his tone is patient when he speaks.
“I won’t hurt Zeke,” he promises patiently and then pauses. “I won’t hurt you either, Seth. I got you. I got you both.”
I know.
I don’t tell him that, though. Every time I try, the words get stuck in my throat.
He left Zeke all alone.
I can’t trust him. What if he leaves again? Zeke doesn’t need him. He has Bane and me.
I don’t need him either.
I don’t.
I don’t, I don’t, I don’t.
Exhaling harshly, I shove past Khalil and leave him standing there in that disappointing silence as I enter the tent.
Aurelia’s already sleeping off the drugs with Thorin curled around her front, so I strip off my shirt and lay down next to her to lend her my body heat. The jostling must stir her awake because her eyes open when I take her from Thorin and turn her to face me.
“Seth?” she asks groggily.
I bury Zeke’s nose in her hair and ignore him pushing and clawing to take control. He’s ready to wake up, but I’m not ready yet. H I know he’s curious about her, but it will be in vain.
I won’t let him remember.
I know I promised Aurelia that I’d tell him about her, but I can’t. She’s mine. All mine.
“I’m here, Sunshine.”
“What’s wrong?” Her question is barely more than a sleepy rumble, but I still understand her.
Just like she apparently understands me.
“Nothing.”
