Page 50 of Wishes for August
Chapter 27
August
“Holy shit!” Ruby exclaimed looking over my shoulder at the new logo I was finishing up for Bennett Properties.
“That is very cool. You’re pretty good, August. Don’t let it go to your head though.” I smiled at her, she always put me in my place.
Shooting the design over to Caleb’s email, I hopped up and headed to his office. Not to brag, just to get his thoughts. Okay, I was going to brag because my hard work had paid off and the design was fucking epic.
Daisy wasn’t at her desk when I walked by, probably having stepped out for coffee. Caleb’s door was shut but I knew he didn’t have any meetings in his calendar so I twisted the handle and pushed open the door.
I felt the dagger to my heart before I could even process what I saw.
Caleb.
Standing in his office with a pregnant woman leaning up against him, his hands resting gently on her baby bump. When his eyes met mine, I saw the apology in them. But I also saw the future I’d dare to wish for fading away.
“August,” he said, his voice quiet.
The brunette woman in front of him spun around and waved at me.
“Oh hi, we’re just in the middle of something, do you mind coming back in a bit?”
“Dina,” Caleb said to her, warning in his tone. “Can we continue this later, I need to talk to August for a minute.”
Dina. Caleb’s ex.The one that supposedly broke up with him… I counted back the months. I was no expert in pregnancy, but it all added up. I wanted to be wrong.
“No, it’s fine, I can go. Um, congratulations,” I said, gesturing to her and she smiled.
“Thank you, we are very excited, aren’t we hun?” She turned from me to pat Caleb on the chest and I had my answer - I wasn’t wrong. It washisbaby.Theirs.
My stomach sank and nausea washed over me. I was going to be sick. I needed to get away, away from him, away from her, away from the sound of my soul cracking. There was no place for me here. This was what Caleb had always wanted. This was his white picket fence, kids and a big house dream coming true.
I turned around abruptly and ran, to the sound of Caleb calling my name. I took the stairs down, not wasting time on the lift. My lungs ached with every breath as I made my way out of the building, retching against the wall as I expelled the contents of my stomach.
Hot tears streamed down my face.
When will you learn August? You were never meant to have someone. You were always meant to be alone.
Alone August. August alone.
I sent Daisy a text telling her I had a stomach bug and to please let HR know I wouldn’t be back for a few days. Then I went home, stopping to pick up a bottle of vodka on my way.
The house was quiet when I got in. Branson was in the US getting settled for his permanent transfer in a few months and there was no one else in my life that I could call. I didn’t want to bother him while he was out there. There was nothing he could do anyway. So, I sat on my bed, opened the bottle and took a large swig of the clear liquid. It burned on its way down, but I welcomed the warmth that spread through my body. My phone buzzed incessantly with calls and messages from Caleb. Text after text asking me to call him. Begging me to speak to him. Eventually I turned it off, welcoming the silence.
I lay on my bed, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. The vodka bottle was discarded on the side table, and I didn’t have the energy to reach for it, so I rolled myself into a tight ball and closed my eyes. Visions of Caleb and I in New York, at Christmas with his family, walking Hamlet in the park all flashed through my mind as I sobbed silently into my pillow. The pillow which smelled like bergamot and pepper. Like Caleb.
I must have fallen asleep because I woke up with a start to furious pounding on the apartment door. My stomach somersaulted again and I gagged at the taste in my mouth but I ripped myself up from the bed and made my way down the cold hallway to the front of the apartment. I knew exactly who was behind it and I toyed with the idea of ignoring the bangingbut it was getting louder and the last thing I needed was for the neighbours to stick their noses in my business.
I opened to find Caleb standing there, as I had expected. He looked wrecked. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was a mess as though he’d been tugging on it, leaving it to stand in all directions. His shirt was untucked and he was breathing heavily.
“Please can we talk?” Caleb pleaded.
“There’s nothing to talk about Caleb.”
“Bullshit, August!” he barked. “We have a lot to talk about.”
Caleb looked down the corridor I shared with three other apartments before I took a step back and he followed me inside.
