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In the back of my mind, I knew the answer. I knew I was hurting because I had fallen victim to sexual humiliation. It was a difficult pill to swallow. And, the knowledge that this was exactly where Jace wanted me…well, it was a thought I couldn't seem to cope with.
The door clicked open and footsteps sounded on the floor behind me. I didn't bother to look up at the intruder. I knew without the use of my eyes that it was Jace. I could feel him. My entire body came alive whenever he was near. Awareness surged within me.
"Olivia?" I heard the question in his tone. "Are you all right?"
"Yes." I said meekly. I almost hoped he called me out on my lie - since he knew when I was lying.
Jace sighed. He moved around the couch to kneel before me on the floor. With his searching eyes level to mine, I felt the beating of my heart quicken. It was a feat that I ignored it. "Are you ready to go home? The girls are closing up."
I focused on the fire over his shoulder. "Where is home, Jace?"
From the corner of my eyes, I saw a wrinkle of confusion form between his brows. Silence stretched and I thought for a moment that he was not going to answer me. "Home is where I am."
My eyes fell to his and my lips parted. "What?"
"Your home is where I am, Olivia." Jace sighed. "Come. I want to take you to bed." He stood, holding a hand out to me. When I made no move to accept his hand, he sighed, bent at the waist and scooped me up into his arms. I knew it was childish, but this was an affection I needed from him. I needed to feel as though he cared for me. I needed to feel as though he thought of me as more then just a sexual conquest and submissive. I needed to be wanted because of the woman I am - brains, independence, stubbornness and all the rest. God, that's all I wanted from him. Acceptance. Love. Adoration. Honesty. There was nothing else.
When Jace stood to his full height, I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I held him to me tightly, breathing in the scent only he possessed. His fingers spread over my ribs, claiming more of my body and he pulled me tighter into his chest as he held me like a wife crossing over the threshold. He tilted his face toward mine and pressed his lips against my temple. On a sigh, he sat down on the couch with me in his lap. I curled my feet into the split in the cushion, determined to warm my cold toes as he rocked me gently.
After long moments of silenced passed us by, he spoke. "I'm sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have fucked you like that."
He felt guilty. My stomach clenched. "I wanted you to, Jace." I admitted and it was the truth. I pulled away to look him in the eyes. "I just didn't realize that it would feel that way."
Jace cocked his head. "What way?"
"So degrading…humiliating…wrong." I spoke each word hushed.
Jace nodded. "Do you still think you can do this, Olivia? You've only had a taste of what being a submissive is like. Do you really think you can handle it?"
I thought about his question. I was careful not to answer too fast. My decision to be a submissive was, in its best, rash. I had to consider this fully before I decided I wanted to continue with what we were doing. "Yes." I said after long minutes had passed. "It's what you need and I want to be what you need."
Jace shook his head. "I need you, Olivia. I don't need anything else."
I shook my head. "That's not true."
He flinched as though I'd slapped him. "How do you figure?"
"Well, you wouldn't do it if you didn't need it." I said simply.
He worried his bottom lip as he considered my words. After what felt like a thousand painful heartbeats, he answered. "I used to need it and in some ways, I still do." His eyes held mine. "But every day I want it less. Because you matter more."
I leaned in and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth. "Then we will take it day by day."
He tightened his hold on me. "I can't imagine living without you."
My heart fluttered in my chest as I soaked up his words. They weren't the three little words with the power of a nuclear bomb, but they were still radioactive. And right now, they were good enough for me. They were hope.
"Let's go home." I whispered. He nodded, standing with me still against his chest. I giggled. "Jace, put me down."
"Never." He walked purposefully to the door, flicking off the fire as he walked, setting the remote on the table.
"I don't want my staff to see this?"
"What?" He frowned. "Me claiming you?"
I shook my head in exasperation. "Yes, exactly that. Put me down."
"I like holding you." He stated gruffly.
