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I pulled away and she gasped for breath. I could admit this wasn't my original approach, but I had to ask. "You know I would do anything for you, right?"
She cocked her head. "I think so."
"I would, Olivia." I said adamantly, slipping my finger under her chin to force her to look up at me when she tried to look away. "I would do anything. I want you happy. I care about your happiness more then I care about anything else. Can you promise me something?"
Her eyes narrowed but they maintained contact with mine. "I don't know."
"Will you come to me when you need to feel the speed? Will you let me be the one who calms you and gives you everything you need?"
"Why Jace?" She shook her head and I knew she was uncomfortable. "I like riding with Kyle. There is nothing holding me to him. There are no responsibilities. It's why I go with him."
I felt my heart grow heavy in my chest. "Damn it, I just want you rely on me for your happiness."
She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I can't, Jace."
"Why?"
"Because I can't take the risk of relying on you for so much and having you leave me. I was crushed when you walked away and I was the one who told you to go. I could barely find the desire to get myself up out of bed…and the funny thing is that I wasn't even sleeping. I can't make you my entire life and hurt ten times more when you leave again."
"I'm not leaving, Olivia." I was frustrated that it kept coming back to that one moment. If I had known this was where we would be when I obliged her wished that night, I would have forced her to let me stay. I never would have walked away the way I did. I would have immersed myself in her life. Fuck, I never would have left!
Her smile was sad. "You don't know this, Jace. You don't know what our future holds."
"But I do." I dragged a hand through my hair. "You're my future. Damn it, I only want you."
"Right now." She sighed and turned her back to me. "Jace, I'm your sex slave. Nothing more."
***
He needed to know where this sudden need for me was coming from. I had read about this online in the many times I'd researched sadomasochism. The dominant, in this situation was Jace, would eventually come to need his submissive, me. The need would border on obsessive possessive. It was difficult to see this and know where it stemmed and why, because Jace was always obsessive possessive…especially over me. But he'd never acted so desperate the way he was now. This was because he believed he had me as his submissive. Although I read about it taking much longer for the dominant to grow so dependent on his submissive, I believed my constant need to fight his dominance was egging him to need my submission that much more. So that was what I would give him. I would give him all of me. I would shed my pride. I would clamp my teeth down on my inner independence and I would allow him this moment to rule in the way he needed. I would do this, because I loved him.
Everything I did for him came back to this - this love for him. I longed to hear him admit his feelings for me in such a way. I longed to know he loved me…but I didn't think he did. Jace needed me. He needed something from me and when he finally got it - when he licked me dry - he would leave me. Because as much as he claimed he would stay, I couldn't allow myself to believe in his words. They were only words. I needed actions. I needed to see his actions of commitment before I allowed myself to believe the untamable Jace Rush would settle with a woman like me.
I shook the thoughts from my mind as I moved across the office to the door. I locked it and moved back to the fireplace. I felt chilled to the bone about what I was going to do. But, at the same time, there was excitement. It made me feel…ill.
I turned back to face Jace. I was careful not to make eye contact, but I could feel his cobalt eyes on me, warming my flesh. I started with the buttons of my blouse. Nimble fingers worked at my clothing slowly and when I finally pulled the last of the fabric from where it was tucked into my skirt, I shrugged and let it fall to the floor.
"What are you doing?" Jace asked hoarsely.
I didn't reply. Instead, I pulled the zipper on the skirt and slipped the material down my hips. Next, I removed my stockings, my bra and my panties. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I didn't feel empowered. I wanted to look up at him and gauge his thoughts, but I couldn't bring myself to act. I kept my eyes trained on the floor as I knelt down on the rug before the fireplace. I was thankful for the flames that kissed my chilled skin as I locked my arms behind my back.
There was a part of me that longed for Jace to tell me to get back up on my feet like a woman equal to him. But I knew that wouldn't happen and the sooner I accepted this as who he was and what he needed then I would find more enjoyment in it. I knew this because I had enjoyed it the last time. I enjoyed giving him complete control because in giving him such control, I'd proven to him how I trusted him. I needed to show him this again. I needed him to know I trusted him entirely, but I couldn't count on him being everything for me. In the time we had together, I would give him my all. It was all I could do.
