Page 38 of Orc's Forbidden Claim
I look over at Khiara but he’s staring at the now blocked passage with a grim look on his face. He runs his hand through his hair and then shakes his head. Instead of moving over to help, he takes a step backward. I watch, unsure what he is planning, and then he rushes towards Sek’su.
His foot comes up at the last moment and he kicks Sek’su in the hip. Wren and I both gasp in surprised shock but it works. Sek’su disappears into the opening with only a muffled grunt of pain.
“Heh,” Khiara grunts, looking at the two of us.
I know my eyes are wide with shock and feel certain that Wren’s must be too. She keeps it cool though, not going off on Khiara for kicking her already injured mate. Which is good, if anyone can cut someone down with their words, it’s Wren. Khiara waves us forward, sending Wren through the opening first.
She fits easily and I follow right behind her. Khiara comes after me and has some trouble, but nothing compared to what happened with Sek’su. The passage is tight, narrowing and widening randomly. Sometimes the walls are so close I have to turn sideways, other times I could stretch out my arms and barely touch both walls.
Sek’su’s massive form leads the way. He remains sideways, slipping along with a surprising degree of silence. It’s always surprising how quietly the Zmaj can move when they want.
Khiara is close. Close enough that we brush against each other almost constantly. His presence is reassuring. Silent, I extend my hand back and no matter how dark it is in here he takes it in his and we continue forward, hand in hand.
Exactly the way I want my life to be. He and I together. I’ve been scared. Scared of telling my friends. Grimacing, I shake my head.Friends. How could I be scared of telling my friends? How does that come anywhere near the definition of ‘friend’?
Wren went through this with Sek’su, and I thought I understood. The problem then was that I was only looking at the bigger picture. Our reputation, that precious ephemeral idea that we are the elite. Somehow better than anyone else. An illusion that should have shattered with the breaking of the generation ship and our crashing here.
It did too, for a while. But the moment we moved from surviving minute to minute to some semblance of being okay it was back. And I embraced it every bit as hard as all the rest of our group.
It was comfortable, but that comfort wasn’t real. It was familiar, sure. What we’d always known. Wren called it our gilded cage. I’ve never had her confidence or composure. For me this life has been nothing but struggle, worry, and anxiety. Knowing I was only one step away from losing everything and before Khiara, it was all. Not only all I knew, but all I had.
A part to play that defined who and what I was, but it wasn’t me. I was a poor actor thrust into a role I was unprepared for. Faking my way through every day and crying every night. As close as I am to Wren, more than ever after we lost Ziva, I did my best to never let her see my insecurity. I think she suspected it, but that wasn’t a topic of polite conversation. Even in our most intimate moments, she would studiously avoid it while I would do my best to bury it.
Not out of meanness. She was never mean, to me at least, but I honestly think that neither one of us knew what to do with it. What else did we know, except the expectations that were thrust upon us by the unwashed masses?
I know what I have to do. It’s so simple.
My stomach twists, churning, and for a moment I’m feeling faint. It passes as quickly as it came and in its wake is certainty. Is it scary? Of course, it is. Wren burst free of the cage when she announced her love for Sek’su. At that moment, she changed the game and expectations.
How can I be afraid when none of these expectations are real? Khiara’s hand holding mine, that’s real. And oh god his lips… his hands over my body… that is real. Why have I lived my life worrying about other people’s opinions?
It’s more than that though, isn’t it? With him it is.
I tighten my grip on his hand, seeking reassurance. He returns the grip and grunts softly. A smile plays over my lips. That’s my Khiara. A grunt. It’s all I can do to keep from chuckling out loud.
What the hell is happening to me?
Any guy I ever dated in all my life who grunted, ever, I would never have let him live it down. One guy, Jacoby, used to grunt when we had sex. I think he thought it was sexy, but for me, it was the biggest turn-off. The girls and I used to make so much fun of him because, of course, I was a shallow idiot and told them all about it. We called him an animal and, in due course, I dumped him, never telling him the real reason.
What’s changed? Why is it okay that Khiara grunts? More importantly, why does it make my clit throb and my stomach tighten while my lips tingle?
It’s not an affectation when he does it. It’s who he is.
Simple, isn’t it? Now that I’m stripping away the layers of pretense from my life, things are coming to a level of clarity Inever could have achieved before. Maybe this entire adventure, being kidnapped, as terrifying and dangerous as it’s been, will be worth it.
Tajss provides.
I bite down on a snort. It hits my throat, and I barely clench my teeth fast enough to keep it down, making only a soft choking sound. Oh god, how am I going to keep that from happening forever? Sooner or later Khiara is going to hear it. What will he think of me then?
Am I really an idiot?
Everything I’ve realized, and here I am falling right back into the trap. He won’t care and even if he does, he will be okay with it. We will be okay. This is what love is, isn’t it? Accepting the other one not only for their best traits but all their flaws too. I look back and his eyes glisten in the dark, reflecting the dim light. They sparkle and dance and my heart speeds up.
The urge to throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him with all I am is so strong I stumble. Khiara grabs onto my arm with his free hand, steadying me. His eyes narrow with the obvious question of ‘are you okay?’. I nod, keeping the silence we’ve been traveling in. Rather than risk another problem, I turn around, but we continue holding each other’s hands.
The passage widens as we go until even Sek’su is able to move ahead without any issues. Wren moves to his side and Khiara comes to mine. Soon we’re in a cavern or something like that. It’s big enough that the light of our lantern doesn’t reach the far walls. Khiara grunts softly and we huddle close together and wait while he looks around.
“This way,” he says, pointing to his left.
