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He backs me up and forces me into one of the wooden chairs at the small table in here. It’s set up with a little kitchenette, a couch and a chair, a TV, and a bed on the far side, very much like a motel room. “I’ll tie you to this chair if I have to,” he seethes. “Settle. Sit.” I open my mouth to shout at him, scream at him, to get the hell out of this stupid chair. I most certainly will notsit quietly. “Tell me everything again.” There’s a new look of resolution on his face that keeps my ass in this seat. “How many men, what they looked like, what their logo was. I need to figure out where they came from and how many of them there might be waiting for us. It sounds like Zale used his time away to get himself embedded in another MC or start up his own. We have no more than thirty men. I need to know if we’re evenly matched, or how badly outnumbered we might be.”
I do as he says and take a calming breath, even though it’s shallow and rattles my lungs. I feel like a deathtrap on the inside.
I relate everything again and we spend the next ten minutes doing what research we can on our phones. We finally get a match for the logo and it’s for a club calls itself the Berserkers MC.
They have three chapters in Arizona and New Mexico. It’s impossible to say how Zale came to be in charge of one of those chapters or which one he’s running. Is he even in charge? Whatlevel of power does he hold? If he was calling the shots in Gray’s yard, it would seem to be a significant fucking amount.
Finally, Raiden sits down across from me. He digs his hands into his eyes. “This could be bad. We’ve got to make sure the other old ladies and families are safe. I’m not taking Zale’s word that he’ll leave them out of it.”
I need something to do. I can’t march out of here, following that truck’s trail, I can’t tear anyone apart with my bare hands, I can’t walk miles to find Gray because I don’t know where to start. I can’t convince Gray’s club brothers that he didn’t betray them. I can do nothing and it’s killing me, but Icando this.
“I’ll help organize a safe place for the old ladies and kids. If they’re going to leave, they need to do it quickly.”
There’s a good chance the club will immediately mobilize for war. They probably have protocols in place, even if they haven’t had to use them before. They’ll be focused on that, and this way I can help take off the pressure. I had a horrible thought, what if Gray’s men thought he’d betrayed them, and they cut him loose? I turn to my brother, “If they won’t help Gray, you have to let me know immediately. I’ll figure something out.”
“Fuck. Fuck.” Raiden swipes his hand angrily over his face, but when his gaze returns to mine, he looks exhausted, not enraged. “I’ll make them hear me. We’re not leaving him behind. Gray’s our president. He’d give his life for any of us, and we all know it. We can’t let our anger over anything he’s done get in the way of our loyalty to him. Any man would be hard pressed to commit murder in cold blood, let alone patricide.” He grinds his teeth, jaw clenched up before he breaks the hushed pause thatfalls over us. “After all of this is over, I don’t think I can be his brother or his friend any longer. Club shit is one thing, but what he did with you—that’s personal.”
“If he’s not your brother any longer, then I should be dead to you too.”
“Lark—”
“Zale is personal. He maimed his own son, the father of my child. The last thing Gray ever said is that he loved me. After they left me with his blood on the grass and his house burning to the ground, I looked up to the sky and swore an oath to the universe that I’d be the one to kill him.”
“That kind of oath doesn’t count and that’s crazy talk.” Raiden won’t hear anything more about it. He dismisses me like I’m just an upset child. “Seer is the head of the old ladies, so you can work with her on an evac plan.”
I should be wrecked by this, made immobile by horror, but it’s the opposite. I need to be doing something. When Raiden stands, all I can think of is one word.
Finally.
He writes Seer’s number for me and heads for the door. He doesn’t pause or look back. My life is a minefield, and every step is dangerous and deadly, but every step is one that brings us closer to finding Gray. It kills me that I have to trust Zale Grand’s word that he’s keeping his son alive and that he’ll be given back to us. Penny and I need him. His club needs him. There is no world where he doesn’t exist for us. He promised me that he’d burn it down if it ever hurt me, but the flames came for him instead. I’m the one here, unharmed, and I will take up his oath, breathe life back into it, and personify it.
I will make a world that accepts us. I will fight for a world of love and safety.
I will be the one with the matches, ready to torch the whole fucking thing down if it ever comes for the man I love again.
Chapter 19
Tyrant
Ihave to hand it to this band of fuckers, they sure have their torture down pat.
I’ve tried to keep track of the days. In this old, abandoned trapper’s cabin with the gaping windows and crooked door, it’s not hard to see the rising and setting of the sun, but I keep losing consciousness.
It became clear to me that this is the outcome my father wanted. I’m the example. I’m the message. Fuck with Zale Grand at your own peril. He decides if you live or die. It’s clear he wants me alive, but barely.
As soon as I was lifted like a limp sack into the back of that pickup, there was a huge bald man very aptly called Doc, who was there to make sure I didn’t bleed out. I’m not sure what he did because he gave me an injection I would have fought if I’d seen it coming. I was out until I woke up here, my finger bandaged. All I taste is blood, but I don’t know if that’s from the continuous beatings, cuts, and burns or not. Doc kept popping back in and out of this sagging one room cabin after the same two creepy bastards torturing me had their fill. He’d take care of their handiwork, keeping me alive for more.
It’s clear they’re doing it for the sheer fucking pleasure of it because they haven’t asked me a single question about the club.
The door bangs open, disturbing the way I keep slipping in and out of the fog. My one eye is completely swollen, but I have a bit of vision through a slit in the other. I have no idea what timeit is. The sun isn’t quite gone yet. They’ve chained me to a sturdy chair—hands, chest, legs.
I make out the features of the one man who steps in through the sagging door. I expect the same two psychopaths who have enjoyed every minute of their work, but this man is different. Blond and tall, he looks more like a football quarterback than a biker.
“It’s your lucky day. We’re rolling out.” The blond giant strides over, grabs my blood caked hair and wrenches my head back.
Pain flares through my whole body, but nothing could hurt worse than the knowledge of what I’ve done to my club. To Lark and Penny. To Raiden. To Hart as a whole. I’ve brought the devil down on them.
The stupid part is that I know I fucked up, but if I had to do it again, I would. I’d just be better prepared. I’m still asking myself how this can be my father. How he could order this, how he could do this to me. How can this be the man who raised me? The man who looked me in the eye and gave his word? How could he even think about cutting down his own brothers?
