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Lark pales like she’s going to be sick. Her legs give out and I snatch her up under her armpits, holding her upright. She’s ashen, but she needs to hear the rest. “Wasn’t jealousy or madness. I hired a PI because any fuck who corners a woman is probably sick and depraved and needs watching. He didn’t have a criminal record, so he was flying under the radar. My guy caught him trying the same thing again with some young, naïve girl. Before he could do anything, the guy kicked the door in and knocked him out. He did the right thing and let the law have him, but you know how that goes. The law fails. There was no concrete evidence that he was going to harm anyone. We watched. We waited. The bastard was a predator. It took himover a year and a half to get brave enough to make his next move, but when he trapped a fifteen-year-old girl in an alley, we were done watching and waiting.”
“S-still.” Her teeth chatter as she sucks in air noisily through her nostrils. She can’t look at me even though I’m still bearing all her weight. “You’re not a vigilante. You can’t just decide who lives and dies.”
“Where you’re concerned, I can, and I will. No one will hurt you. No one gets to touch you. No one will even look at you the wrong way.”
“This alpha male shit might be hot to some other women, but I’m not into it. And Christ, Penny doesn’t need a male role model in her life who thinks it’s okay to maim, torture, and kill. That’s exactly what I was talking about when I said that—”
I should hear her out, but I just can’t. I’m too infuriated. “No one will ever touch you or my daughter, and sheismy daughter. I’m not just going to be a role model. Not going to say after this or after that,Lark, because waiting on more pain for you and Raiden is just wrong. But whenever you give me the chance, I’ll be proud to claim her. I’m waiting on that day because it’s my honor and I want to be in her life. That’s not alpha male anything,” I pause, trying to gather my words carefully and not just run on anger. “And Thatche, do you have any idea what a near miss that was? I should have gone immediately when I got the fucker’s name and address and beat his motherfucking skull into pulp. I waited almost two years to prove to myself that I was doing the right thing. It never should have happened to you, and I made sure it will never happen to anyone else.”
I look into the twin mirrors of her eyes because I’m no coward, but I still flinch inwardly when I see disgust and fear.
“This is too much.” She looks like she wants to run all the way back across the country. I’m not going to let it happen.
“I come back because my mom is dying and everything is going to change. My dad will need family like he never has before. But my life? It’s changed so much I barely recognize it. Most of my friends have left and started lives elsewhere. Hart is a completely different place with you running it. I have no idea what I’d do for work here or how I’d support myself or where I’d live. I have a life back- back there. It’s not here. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She’s lashing out and I let her without stopping her this time. I hear her fear and grief. It’s a lot of change and it’s happening far too quickly.
We both know she’s staying.
She’s pissed at me and pissed off about the inevitability of death coming fast. It’s an enemy I can’t fight for her, but I can be there for her, even from a distance.
She shoves me away, standing on her own strength. “You said you’d leave me alone while I need it most. Please, just continue to do that.”
I’m not going to bristle with fury over that. I’m not. I wouldn’t like it if someone started ordering my life around. I can protect her quietly if that’s what she needs.
“I want your word. Promise me you’ll stop interfering with my life.”
“Lark… Penny is my daughter.”
“Yes, but I don’t know how I want to deal with that yet.” Her eyes devour my face, searching for a crack or a sign that I’m sorry for the things that I’ve done. She’s not going to find it.
“I’m a dangerous man and I was no less dangerous when you took me between your thighs and made me yours.”
“Then let me renounce you.” Her eyes glisten with unshed tears and her chest heaves. “I don’t want you, Gray. I don’t want Tyrant. I don’t want any of you.”
“Yeah? That so?” That’s straight up bullshit. I might have changed, but the Lark I knew wasn’t a liar.
Her jaw juts out and she dodges past me, ending the conversation by giving me her back. “That’s so,” she whispers in a half-broken sob, still trying not to cry.
She pulls her phone out and calls Raiden. She stands erect, pretending I’m not there while she waits. I let her, until I see Henry and Mabel’s sedan round the corner. I turn and head back into the office before Raiden can ask why I’m here and not at the meeting at City Hall or before he takes one look at Lark’s face and then at me and decides that he should beat me into the ground for upsetting his sister.
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Lark. I hate seeing her cry. She’s struggling. She doesn’t need me to make things harder. Penny might be my daughter, but Lark’s sent a clear message. She doesn’t have to like everything about who I am or about club life, but she doesn’t trust me with our daughter. One day of redemption isn’t enough to prove to her that I’m not a monster. It’s going to take more than sorting out her mom’s gardens to do that.
I think she’d agree in the end that a predator getting put to ground before he hurt, raped, or killed a woman is maybe justified, even if vigilante justice is still reprehensible, but the murder of my father? Lark is never going to see past that.
She needs the truth, and I just can’t give it to her. Not yet and probably not ever.
The thought of losing her and Penny makes me wild. Choked. I can’t catch my breath. I want to punch the wall in this office and not stop until there’s nothing but studs left. I flex my hand and shake it out, resisting the temptation to even make a fist. I need to get it together and keep it together. That includes not turning into a wild animal and learning what it means to wait. I can’t just take what I want. All I can do is be here, the same man I always was, and hope Lark somehow sees me.
Chapter 14
Lark
It’s been a hard, exhausting week. Everyday feels like it’s a hundred years long.
I knew when I came here that my mom wasn’t going to get better. Even hearing that she only had three months, probably less, didn’t prepare me for the way she’s wasted away. She doesn’t just seem shrunken. Her body has withered. She’s in a lot of pain. She tries to be brave and not let us see it, but just this morning, Raiden had to carry her from her bed to the bathroom because she wasn’t strong enough even to use her cane.
My dad is a wreck. It’s hard watching your partner change and get ready to leave and knowing that you can’t follow.
