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There was one person who I knew had all that information. Getting him to share it with me was going to be another story. He couldn’t be bribed or threated. That left only one thing. I needed to do something I never thought I would; share exactly how I feel about Crystal with others. Tabiqians for the most part, didn’t talk about their emotions. We weren’t a cold people, just how we really feel is private. That’s how we all are able to go forward even though we all carry a good amount of hurt and pain inside.
Bennett, you’ve been here long enough to know who we are as a people. Don’t ask me a lot of question. Just tell me what I need to know.
I was prepared to be totally vulnerable, but with one person. Crystal. If I am going to have a chance in hell at winning her heart back, I needed to give all of myself to her. The good and the bad. I had started to show her who I was when I brough her to my secret hideaway. But that was just the tip. She needed to know the truth. And I was going to bare it all.
And pray like hell that you love me enough to see pass it all.
When I decided to come and play cards with grandmother, I thought I knew why I was there. Just to confirm that Crystal was the person in her dreams. Now it didn’t matter what grandmother thought. I knew that Crystal was the woman of mydreams. She was the person who has changed my life. There was no going back to my old ways. I’ve tried putting up my walls again, but each time they just crumble. It’s as though a piece of her was still here with me, chiseling away, refusing to let my heart close off again.
Damn it, Crystal. I need you. I hope you need me too.
What did I have to offer her? She had her life in the States. She was passionate about her work with the sick. The only thing I need her for is to heal my heart.
She’s the only one that can make it whole again.
More than a week ago, I could’ve told you exactly how my days were going to be. What tomorrow looked like. They were all slightly different, yet all the same. There was a comfort in knowing. Now my hands were sweaty, and I was filled with anxiety. Me. Anxious about seeing a woman. But she wasn’t just any woman. Crystal isthewoman. The only one for me.
It’s true. There is such a thing as a soulmate. I’ve found mine. My past may be fucked up, and I made a lot of mistakes, but I know what I want my future to look like. And it starts with the woman I love. My future is with Crystal. Now how to put that in words without fucking it up is the hard part.
It was a good thing I had a long flight tomorrow, but I might need more time than that. I can’t blow this. It’s my one chance. It needed to be perfect.
You took my heart with you to the States. Hopefully, you want the rest of me too.
CHAPTER 19
Crystal
I’d been back in the States a week, and the new routine was torture. Instead of sitting by Anya’s beside and reading to her like we used to, she insisted on talking. I’ve come to know so much more about her in these last few days than I had in three years.
It was all weighing heavily on my heart. She had one very difficult life. And from what I learned, most women in Tabiq did at that time. If I’d known that prior to going, I never would’ve gotten on that flight. But thankfully, the Tabiq she left, no longer existed. It was a much more peaceful country. And the evidence of the change was a female president. Thirty years ago, I doubt that could’ve happened.
“Crystal, do you think we could go outside and have our tea in the sunshine?” Anya asked.
I was pleasantly surprised by her request. “Of course we can.” It was an unusually warm day for October. But the leaves wereall changing their colors, and the sun was out and bright. All she would need is a quilt for her lap and a light sweater.
Even though I hadn’t delivered the letter as she believed, her thinking about it has instilled a new level of hope in her. I could see it in her eyes. Hear it in her voice. And now, she wanted to get up. Get outside.
I rushed around the room gathering everything I would need. Then I brought her wheelchair and locked it in place beside her bed and help her get into it.
“I was thinking that maybe you could call the doctor and ask him to come today,” she said.
My heart skipped a beat. “Is everything okay? Are you feeling alright?” Had I missed some other change in her?
“I’m fine. I was hoping the I could start with my physical therapy again. I’d...I want to see if I can still walk.”
I quickly walked behind her wheelchair. Good thing because the tears of joy couldn’t be controlled. I chocked them back and said, “Yes.” It’s all I could get out.
“Crystal. Come here where I can see you,” she demanded.
It was too late. She knew. I walked around to the front and kneeled. “I’m sorry. It’s just...Anya, I know you can walk again. I know you’re capable of doing so much more. And the fact that you want to again,” the tears started all over, “makes me so happy.”
“Why? Do you think that I won’t need you anymore if I’m regain my strength and my independence?”
“I hope not. I mean, I want all those things for you. But trust me when I say this, you might not need me anymore, Anya, but I will still need you. You’re...you’re not just a patient to me. Not after all these years.”
She reached out and touched my wet cheek. “Crystal, you have given me so much. And I will never forget all of your kindness.”
But what about my lies?
