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Parker sighed in agreement. “Yeah. Best thing that ever happened to me. But John never got off on hurting you. Even when you started acting out. He loved you.”
“Heownedme!” Robby roared, jumping to his feet. The abrupt motion paired with the lemon drops made his head spin, but he forced himself to stay upright. “Maybe nobody has ever loved me. Maybe nobody ever will. But I will not be desperate enough again to accept some sick, selfish imitation. Not again.”
Pulling the vodka bottle from Parker’s hand, Robby gulped back the booze. The bottle thunked against the wood when he released it on the table. “Stop selling yourself short. You deserve better too. Why are you defending him anyway?”
“Maybe I wanted him for myself. After you left, he wouldn’t even look at me, said I reminded him too much of you. Do you know how much better my life could’ve been with him?”
Disgusted, Robby stumbled away from his old comrade, intent on escaping the demons of his past. He made it two steps before he realized just how deep he’d fallen down the rabbit hole. This back room hadn’t existed five years ago, but he’d been in plenty of places just like it.
Older men on leather chairs or sofas, their pretty young pets at their feet. Teenagers, he’d bet, in barely there briefs or tiny shorts and nothing else. Nothing but the occasional collar and leash.
He spied at least one guy crouched beneath a table, his head buried in some other man’s crotch. Another sat on his partner’s lap, their table doing nothing to hide the swivel in his hips or the glazed look in his eyes.
The boy could’ve been him—was him at his lowest point—same curly brown longish hair. Same pale skin and long lashes.
He froze as the dead-eyed boy’s gaze trained on his face. They locked stares for a minute before the teenager looked submissively to the floor. How many times had submission saved him? Saved any of them? Hell, he still defaulted to the compliant, wide-eyed innocence most men had left long behind by his age. Because the strong protected the weak.
Unless they preyed on them. A lesson from a stranger in the shelter he never forgot.
If he asked any one of these young guys if they wanted to be here, he doubted he’d find a single one who said no. After all, they’d all have a place to sleep tonight. And even without seeing them, he knew the drugs would be plentiful.
Hell, some actually did like it. Or let themselves believe they did.
John had loved to show him off at parties like this. Made him—
Covering his mouth with his hand, he stumbled toward the door. He’d almost reached it when he heard Parker call out.
“You think you’re out, Lamp Chop. But you just don’t get it. You might leave this place…but it never leaves you.”
Chapter ELEVEN
Matt
Matt rolled his head from side to side, stretching the tight muscles in his neck. The clock ticked at a maddeningly slow pace as the end of his shift drew closer. The nightshift guys were due to relieve him any minute, which would be a blessing because he could barely think straight after his encounter with Patty.
The way they’d hung out and just talked reminded him of the years they’d spent as best friends. They could tell each other anything. With her, he could just be himself.
If only he understood who the hell he was.
Patty acted like she found the answer obvious. Like he could just rip off some cosmic Band-Aid and proclaim himself gay once and for all. It wasn’t as simple as speaking it into reality, though.
True, he didn’t sit around at night fantasizing about women, but he didn’t sit around fantasizing about guys either. One particular guy, maybe, but it was more about the man himself than whatever hung between his legs.
His breath caught at the direction of his thoughts, and an unfamiliar stirring forced him to subtly adjust himself in his khakis.
Wouldn’t Patty just love that?
He’d been downright positive she was going to kiss him earlier, and the relief he’d felt when she winked and pulled away damn near overwhelmed him. He could still hear the low chuckle she made as she sauntered out the door.
Nothing like he’d felt with the anticipation of Robby’s kiss. With her, he’d wanted the world to swallow him whole. With Robby, his body sang with the rightness of it all. Remembering it now, he practically vibrated with pleasure.
And confusion.
Why Robby? Why now?
And, most importantly, would it last?
So far, the attraction seemed to grow stronger the closer they became.
