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When he did it, John’s eyes widened for a moment, but he didn’t try to retake his hold. “Parker told me he saw you, but I didn’t believe it. Not until I saw you myself.”
“Here I am.” He lifted his palms, then gave John his back as he motioned to the bartender for a bottle of water.
Only it was John who spoke first when the server came over. “Two gin and tonics. On my tab.”
He ground his teeth, accepted the drinks, and handed one to his former lover. He hated gin and tonic, mostly because the drink reminded him of the man standing in front of him now. Lifting it to his mouth, he pretended to take a sip. The smell alone brought him back to nights that had shamed him months and years later.
John raised his eyebrow. “I’m glad to see you’re not guzzling it down. You know how you get when you drink too fast.”
If only he still drank so he could down it just for spite. “I can make those decisions for myself, thanks.”
The smile John gave him made him shiver. “Of course you can. You’re all grown up now. You’ve got a man’s body.” His ex stepped closer, his familiar clove scent making Robby’s pants grow uncomfortably tight. As many problems as he’d had with John, sexual attraction had never been one of them.
He put his hands against John’s chest to push him away, but not before sinewy arms snaked around his waist. Before he could protest, John’s mouth was on his, his tongue slipping inside. Moving. Massaging.
John’s right hand slid against the front of Robby’s pants, cupping his growing erection, then stroking it, a hot secret, hidden from the room in the small space between them.
He groaned, and still kissing him with booze on his breath, John pulled him into one of the dark corners of the room. Despite the crowd, anyone could find a secluded spot in the club, designed for encounters just like this one.
Roughly, John pushed his back against the wall. The man’s deft fingers unbuttoned his pants. His hand slid down the front of Robby’s boxer-briefs, headed toward his—
“No, John.”
It was like he hadn’t said a word. John’s hand continued its descent into his underwear, wrapping itself confidently around his straining erection. Then, he stroked.
Temptation sang a siren’s song to give into the pleasure. John could play his body like a violin. But there were reasons Robby had walked away. By the end, things between them had become unbearable, and he would be damned if he fell into this tarpit again. Memories, long suppressed, flashed through his head. The games, the humiliation, the piles of cocaine he snorted to make him forget how awful he felt. Almost.
“I saidno!” he shouted, shoving his former lover away.
John released him as he reeled back, his face slack in shock. It quickly turned thunderous. “What the fuck?”
Adjusting himself back into place, he refastened his button. “I told you to stop.”
“You forget yourself. I set the rules here, not you.” John raised his hand, but Robby slapped it away.
“I haven’t forgotten anything, but maybe you have.” He stepped forward, his chest bumping John’s. “I left you. I support myself now. Pay my own rent, buy my own food. Which means I get to set my own rules.”
For the first time, he realized he’d actually grown bigger than his ex. It wasn’t a huge difference, but it gave him an extra shot of confidence. “Now I understand why you like ‘em young. No grown man would ever let you walk over him the way you did me.”
John scowled. “All grown up now, are you? You think you don’t need a daddy anymore?”
He poked his finger at John’s chest. “I don’t need you.”
“As if anyone else would have you.” John flicked Robby’s hand away, then smoothed his palm down the front of his shirt, putting himself to rights. “If you had a man, you wouldn’t be here. Spare me your high and mighty act. You have nothing. And without me youarenothing.”
Direct hit.
If he had a man, he wouldn’t be trolling this meat market.
The bloom of his confidence withered on the vine.
John always could home in on the perfect way to break his spirit. He had the ability to deconstruct Robby’s every thought and action and manipulate him with his deepest insecurities and fears. Like abandonment and rejection.
There was nothing more terrifying than the people you love turning their back on you.
Well, he might not have a man to share his bed, but he did have people who loved him now. It wasn’t the same, but it was something. Something that mattered.
He smiled. It wasn’t easy, but it was real. “You’re wrong.” The soft words barely carried over the music.
