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In one swift motion, he slams the fish’s head against a large rock. The dull thud jolts through Lila like she’s been shot, her gaze bulls-eyeing to the middle of the lake. Mitchell hits the fish against the rock a second time, finishing the stun job.
“Great work,” he tells her. “I’ll clean and gut it and take it to the stove for dinner.”
She acknowledges him with a stiff nod, her lips tight between her teeth as he walks away. Otherwise, she doesn’t move. I give her a second, but I’m not even sure she’s breathing right now.
“Are you okay?” I ask softly.
She shakes herself like she’d forgotten I’m here.
“What? Yeah. That’s just circle of life stuff.” Her face twists as though my question is crazy, but she’s gone so pale I worry she might faint. With all these rocks around, she could get seriously hurt.
“Maybe you should sit down.”
“I’m going to go take a victory lap.” She passes me her fishing pole and raises both fists in the air in a sad little cheer. “First fish!”
“Lila, wait.” But she’s already heading back towardcamp.
“Everything’s great,” she shouts back. “This is totally going on my presentation. Yay, me!”
I don’t know why she’s so obviously lying, but if she needs a minute, I’ll give her one. And only one. I gather up our fishing poles and take them back to camp before I go looking for her.
She’s not hard to find, so that’s good. She’s on a fallen log with her back to me about fifty feet away from her tent. I’m careful to make a little noise as I approach her, and she sighs heavily when I close in. I round the log, dropping into a catcher’s squat in front of her.
Her eyes are full of tears, stripes on her cheeks where they’ve already fallen.
My heart clenches in my chest. “Oh, princess.”
“I know it’s stupid,” she whispers, batting away a tear.
“It’s not stupid. Are you a vegetarian?”
She snorts. “No. I eat meat. I’ve just never beenright therewhen the meat ceases to be.”
“I understand. I went hunting exactly one time.”
She tries to smile, but her chin wobbles. “That would be so much worse.”
“It’s okay if you need a minute.”
“I mean, I knew it would happen somehow, I guess, I just wasn’t expecting…that.” She lifts her eyes to the sky as if she can make her tears drain away. “I’ve never killed anything before.”
I set my hands on her knees. “You didn’t kill that fish.”
“Yeah, but it’s my fault.” Her gaze drops to meet mine. “I’m a fish murderer.”
I let the tiniest smile peek out on my face because she’s so adorable even when she’s weeping over a trout. “You’re not.”
She swipes beneath each eye, catching the tears. “I’m the monster fish parents tell their fish children about at night.”
I gently squeeze her knees, her skin warm beneath herleggings. “I appreciate that you can quote the MCU through your tears.”
She releases a long exhale. “I’m fine, I’m just…I feel like this is a sign.”
“Of what?”
She spreads her hands out, gesturing at herself, the trees, me. “I’m not meant for all of this. This proves how bad I am at being outdoorsy. And I don’t know if I can get this job if I’m this bad at being outdoorsy. And if I don’t get it…”
Her shoulders hitch, worlds of worry in that unfinished sentence.
