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I slide the cigar back into my pocket, trying to hide my movement by adjusting the lapel on my suit jacket. “We’ll have eyes all around the city looking for him. If he shows his face in any restaurant, club, bar or park, we’ll know about it.”
Sage rubs my back, and I feel a little shimmer of warmth inside of me. It’s nice to know that someone is supporting me, not just physically, but emotionally. It’s something I haven’t felt since I lost my family.
My chest tightens when I think about it. I don’t know why, but the memories have been coming up more often, and it’s eating me up inside. I thought I was done thinking about it, that it was a distant memory of a past that’s barely even mine.
But it does belong to me. The boy that witnessed all of that is still inside of me, and he can’t be contained as well. He’s stronger because of Sage, empowered by her sensitive nature.
I don’t hate that boy, but I wished he didn’t exist. Even he wished he didn’t exist growing up, to the point where he almost killed himself when he was nineteen.
If he had, I wouldn’t be here, so I can’t hold anything against him. I don’t wish for him to die, I just wish he’d leave me alone. I’m past all that. My family is gone and they’re never coming back.
“Are you okay?” Sage whispers, and I realize everyone is looking at me.
I wipe the sweat from my forehead, shaking the tension out of my body. “I’m fine. I was just thinking about the man in the blue suit. We need to find him.”
“We’re on it,” Pasha says, offering a reassuring smile.
For some reason, it makes me angry. Everyone is looking at me like I have a problem, like I need to be pitied and coddled, and it’s pissing me the hell off. All I’m doing is standing here, sweating a little, and they think I’m having a meltdown over the man in the blue suit.
This isn’t about him, though. Nobody but me knows what it’s really about, and they never will.
I turn away from them, grabbing Sage by her arm and pulling her away from the conference table. “Business is done. We have other matters to attend to today,” I grumble.
I can sense the tension in the room as I leave with Sage, but nobody says anything. Their unspoken words hang in the air like the humidity after a rainfall. I can barely breathe because of it. I need some fresh air and a goddamn cigar.
I fish it out of my pocket as we exit the meeting room, slipping it between my lips while letting go of Sage’s arm. She shakes me off, taking a step back and looking at me as I pull out a lighter. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” I grumble, lighting my cigar. I feel more comfortable hidden in a cloud of smoke.
“Your face is really red,” she says.
“Then stop looking at it.”
She folds her arms over her chest, glaring at me. “You’re such a grump sometimes.”
“And you’re quite nosey.”
She slaps my arm lightly, which I’m surprised by. I thought she’d have learned her lesson from the spanking earlier, but it seems like that’s only made her bolder. I have to shut this little scene down before she starts to think she can do whatever she wants to me.
“We’re going to the car,” I bark, grabbing her arm before she can smack me again. “Come on.”
“Stop it! Viktor, you can’t treat your wife like this,” she says as I pull her along.
I ignore her, bitter emotions coming to the surface and flooding out everything else. All I can think about is how terrible I feel, and that she’s the one responsible for it. I hate her so much for making me feel like this.
“Shut your mouth and come with me,” I growl, pulling her out the door and onto the sidewalk. The car is waiting there, but Ivan is still inside the building. No worries. I’ll be the one driving this time.
I tear open the car door, pushing Sage inside before ducking in after her. I jump over her into the driver’s seat, pressing the button to start and immediately shifting into drive. My foot is on the accelerator before either of us has the chance to put on our seatbelts.
“Slow down!” she pleads, fumbling with her belt.
“I need you to shut the hell up,” I reply, swerving onto the road and narrowly missing another car. Their horn blares, and I stick my middle finger up in the rearview mirror.
“Are you crazy? What the hell has gotten into you?” Sage says, her voice tight with anxiety.
“I told you to behave, and you seem to think that means running your mouth,” I growl. “I’ve warned you one too many times already.”
She falls silent, but when my eyes flicker over to her, I see that she’s glaring at me. I’m always the bad guy, even when I’m not trying to be, so I’m used to this treatment. It just hurts coming from someone who I thought was on my side.
